Legends Never Die
by dracodarlingxx
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy and Ria Black, dangerously addicted to adrenaline. Rose Weasley, the boy-crazed skirt. Emma Longbottom, terrified of herself. Lysander Scamander, the king of sarcastic comments. And Albus Potter, who can make you cry with a look. Sixth year's shaping up to be a blast.
1. Too close

'**So I'll be on my way.' - Alex Clare, Too Close**

I smile down at the pink and yellow pygmy puffs dancing around me. Their sweet music fills the moonlit air and I feel like floating. I sigh in contentment as my fairy wings open up from my back and I rise gently into the starry sky.

Then my wings catch on some branches and the wind is shaking me. I toss and turn as the branches pull me from side to side. A storm arrives and I am being thrown about. To top it all, there is music playing in the background. I listen hard.

_And I feel like I am just too close to love you._ Then with a final shove from a branch, my eyes snap open.

There is ice blond hair in my f ace as I wake up. My best friend stares at me with wide eyes then pulls back from shaking me awake. He flicks his wand to turn off the music, takes a deep breath, then screams "RIA, IT'S 10:30!"

I scowl, "So?" I turn over to go back to sleep, but realisation hits hard.

"SHIT!" I scramble out of bed to stare at him.

We've done it again. September the 1st, half an hour until the Hogwarts Express leaves for school for sixth year, and we haven't even started packing.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP SOONER?! YOU WAKE UP AT THE FUCKING CRACK OF DAWN EVERY DAMN DAY!"

"I WAS TESTING THAT NEW SLEEPING DRAUGHT I MADE YESTERDAY. I ONLY JUST FUCKING WOKE UP."

Did I mention we both swear like sailors? Sometimes it doesn't even make sense.

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? GO PACK!"

"ARGH!" he stalks out of the room.

25 minutes later and I'm dressed and have just about stuffed everything into my trunk.

"Where's my lucky hanky?" I hear Scor mutter from the room next door.

I ignore him and try sitting on my trunk to close it.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY LUCKY HANKY?!" he shouts.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I yell back, "Did you leave it in your house?"

He appears in my door, scowling at me. "NO, AND I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS, BITCH. GIVE IT TO ME."

I shove him out of my bedroom. "WE'VE GOT FIVE MINUTES SO HURRY THE FUCK UP. It's in your pocket by the way."

I smirk as he looks down to see his handkerchief hanging out of his shirt pocket. "Fuck you", he mutters angrily, then runs back to his bedroom.

I grab my broom and wand and levitate my trunk down the stairs. I can see Scorpius doing the same behind me.

I pause. Something's missing.

"Where's Affy?"

Scorpius turns pale and sprints out the front door, and into the neighbouring house, with me rushing after him.

His snowy owl, Aphrodite, is flying around the house, hooting angrily.

"GET HER IN THE CAGE, YOU EEJIT!" I yell.

"WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT?" he screams back. Affy may be gorgeous, but she's a moody bint and her bites hurt like hell.

"'COS SHE'S YOUR OWL!"

"YOU USE HER TOO!"

"JUST GET HER IN THE DAMN CAGE!"

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

There's a pause.

"Pretty sure that's animal abuse." I mutter, staring at the frozen owl on the floor. Scor shrugs and locks her into her cage.

We stand at the front door with luggage in hand, and I lock eyes with my best friend.

"Ready?" I ask.

He nods, and we spin into darkness as the clock strikes eleven.

We Apparate directly onto Platform 9 ¾. We push past wailing toddlers, bored older siblings, crying mums and waving dads, but we have eyes only for the scarlet train slowly leaving the station.

We sprint through the crowds of people as we do every year, and I turn back once to see that our trunks have automatically levitated onto the train. There's no going back now.

We draw level with the back of the train and Scorpius flings his broom and Affy's cage at me, and then reaches out, grabbing hold of the railing of the caboose and pulling himself onto the train caboose platform. He turns back and I shove the brooms and the cage into his arms. I'm slowing down, but the train's picking up speed, and I'm getting left behind.

"RIA, HURRY!" Scor screams. The platform is silent as everyone watches to see whether I'll make it or not.

I take a deep breath and I'm flat-out sprinting now. I see the end of the platform approaching, and I make a last-ditch attempt and leap towards the caboose railing as the platform disappears from beneath me.

Scor's cool hands grip my wrists and he pulls me onto the train caboose platform next to him.

We collapse against the train door, panting. He grins at me "That was close."

I grin back, "Couldn't disappoint our fans." I gesture to the fast-disappearing station platform, where many of the people are clapping and cheering for us.

And then we crack up, laughing and laughing, as we do every September 1st.


	2. Cry me a river

'_**Cry me a river, 'cause I cried a river over you.' **_**- Michael Buble, Cry Me A River**

**One Year Later**

_Al's POV_

We're on the train to Hogwarts for our seventh year. Our last year at the castle and it's off to a devastating start.

It's so familiar, yet achingly different. Something is missing, and we all know what.

I lean my head back on the soft worn seat, and look around the carriage.

Rose is sitting opposite me, flipping through the Charms textbook feverishly. Her ginger hair has been painstakingly straightened and styled in a French plait, and her make-up has been applied carefully; to anyone else it may seem that she's just looking good for the first day of school, but to me, who knows her so well, it's obvious she's put so much effort into her appearance to take her mind off other things. She frowns at the pages fiercely, eyes narrowed as she concentrates hard on the book. I would believe that she is studying early to get a head start on the other seventh years, but the book is upside down, and she isn't wearing her reading glasses.

Lysander sits next to her. Like Rose, he's put care into what he's wearing, in an effort to look normal. He's the glue that binds us all together, and I know there's no way we'll get through this without him. He is holding one of his favourite books, War and Peace, but his lips are pressed in a hard line, repressing emotion, and he has just been staring aimlessly at the same page for the last half an hour, so I know he isn't reading.

Emma sits on the other side of Rose. The girl whom I thought only owned skirts is wearing trousers and a hoodie, with her hair carelessly thrown into a bun, a lack of motivation evident. She is hunched over her sketchbook, frantically drawing dress designs, but I know her heart isn't in it because uncharacteristically, her pencil often tears through the thick paper, and every two minutes she rips out the page she is drawing on, scrunches it up, and throws it on the floor.

My heart aches for them because they are all trying so hard to act normal, but we're all hurting so much.

I look to my right, to the one who is undoubtedly hurting the most.

Ria is wearing black jeans and a grey jumper, her black hair loose. She is curled up in a tight ball on the seat, staring out of the window, watching as the heavens open and a torrent of tears slap against the window.

A flash at the door of the carriage catches my eye. Someone is trying to open the door, smiling sadly and beckoning me to go over and let them in, but I turn away. Rose has put a charm on the door so that no one can come in with their whispered condolences. Condolences for a boy whom they may have loved, but didn't know as well as we knew him. I don't think any of us could take that, least of all the girl silently crying next to me.

I sigh. Where did it all go so wrong?

I think back to last year in this same carriage. We were so carefree then. Funny how things change.


	3. Count on me

"_**You can count on me 'cause I can count on you." **_**- Bruno Mars, Count On Me**

**One Year Earlier**

_Al's POV_

"Where are they?" Emma frets.

I roll my eyes. "Relax, Em, they'll be here soon. You know they're always late."

"But what if this year they don't make it onto the train?"

I sigh loudly and Emma turns to Rose.

"You're worried, aren't you Rose?"

Rose doesn't even look up from her compact mirror.

Lysander shuts his book, leans forward, and clasps Emma's hands. "You say this every year, yet they always – "

He is cut off as the door of the carriage slams open and a boy and girl topple inside.

"Told you." I say to Emma.

I notice Rose has quickly put her compact away and is now leaning seductively against the window. I roll my eyes and poke the two now lying sprawled on the floor.

There's a muffled grunt and the boy pushes himself off the ground, holding out a hand to help pull the girl up too.

They stand at the door, grinning at us, and I take the opportunity to check them out.

Let me clear up any queries about my sexuality. Whether I'm straight or gay is debatable. I definitely prefer girls, but – in Ria's words – I will fuck anything with a hole. Which is true; I'm not fussy.

So I cast a quick eye over Scorpius Malfoy. High cheekbones you could cut yourself on, thin lips, perfect eyebrows and a confident poise, just like the girl next to him; they're the picture of pureblood aristocracy. Scor has ice blond hair, combed back in what Rose calls 'young Leo DiCaprio style', and he is pretty tanned, from two weeks holiday in Barbados with Ria. Loafers, neatly pressed chinos and a perfectly ironed polo shirt complete his neat freak look, which is then ruined by the brightly coloured bow tie and belt. His grey eyes are warm, and he pouts at me, winking.

I then glance to the girl grinning next to him and pause. Godric, Ria Black looks good. Her Mexican blood from her mum has blessed her with a tan all year round, which sets off her sparkling brown eyes nicely. Wavy black hair reaches to mid-back, with the ends dip-dyed silvery-white. She's wearing bright overalls tied around her waist with a tie-dyed t-shirt and polka-dotted trainers. How is it the girl has no fashion sense yet still manages to look so good? She has multiple leather bracelets tied around her wrist, plus a thin silver charm bracelet with a tiny key dangling off it.

I smile and as Scor sits next to me with Ria opposite him, our carriage is complete.

Rose, Em, and Sander, I've known since I was too small to know my own name, but I still remember when I first met Scor and Ria.

After the War, McGonagall realised that no one had received a proper education in that year, so all the classes were pushed back a year, meaning my dad, Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron went back into school for their seventh year. But this posed a problem for the little eleven year olds all set to come into Hogwarts for their first year. So a new school was set up for them, which basically teaches the equivalent of the first year of a Muggle secondary school, but it only teaches kids going into Hogwarts the next year, so first years are now 12 years old, and you graduate when you're 18/19. The Ministry for Magic was a big supporter of this pre-Hogwarts school, because it promotes inter-House unity, as friendships are made before the House prejudices have a chance to get in the way.

We got our Hogwarts letters when we were eleven, and went to the pre-Hogwarts school for a year, which meant that when we were ready to enter Hogwarts, we all knew each other.

But before entering Hogwarts, no one knew Scorpius Malfoy or Ria Black.

I don't know who they sat with on the train or in the boats, but Scor later told us that just before we entered the Great Hall for our first Hogwarts Feast, he realised he needed the toilet. So off he goes with Ria. Sure they find a bathroom, but they can't find their way back to the Great Hall. After wandering around lost for a while, they enter a room where they can hear people underneath them, and they realise they must be in a room above the Great Hall. The floor feels strange so Ria tries jumping up and down on it, when it rips open and she is freefalling in front of us. All the students and teachers of Hogwarts watch, shocked, as she falls through the air, and crashes into me. Yes, that's right; the first time we met, I saved her life. McGonagall levitates Scor down from the ceiling, and we carry on with the Sorting as if nothing happened. When Ria is the first Black to be sorted into Gryffindor since Sirius Black, there is a shocked silence. And then when Scor is also sorted into Gryffindor, no one dares clap, except for Ria, who stands on the bench at the Gryffindor table and hoots and cheers for him all by herself, oblivious to the stares of the other students. But since when has Ria Black ever cared what anybody else thinks of her?

By the time I got to sit at the Gryffindor table, Scor and Ria were already firm friends with Emma, and when Lysander came he was charmed by them too. Rose loved them from the first word they said to her, partly because even then she thought Scor was hot. As for me, I don't make friends easily (Ria would say that's the understatement of the year), but saving someone's life really brings you closer to them, you know? And they come as a double package; when you're friends with one of them, you're friends with both of them.

"See you bitches later." Ria winks at us, then follows Rose and Emma up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

I lead Scor and Lysander up the neighbouring steps to the boys' dormitories. A few more steps than last year, but I'm not complaining. My arse will be _extra_ toned.

I stand in shock at the door to our room, as I do every year. It really never fails to surprise me how clean the room can get after the two months and a half we aren't in it over summer.

"Hey Aaron, Josh." Scor pushes past me and waves at the other two inhabitants of the sixth year boys' dormitory. Lysander nods at them. I just ignore them.

Aaron Levitt raises his hand in greeting from where he is doing crunches on his bed. A big hulking boy with way too much muscle, I would never get with him, unless I fancied some rough love. He's civil to us, but mostly hangs out with a few seventh year and fifth year guys who do push ups in their free time, and call themselves 'The Musclers.' He may be nice, but who cares? Certainly not me.

Josh Thompson is the complete opposite. He's a tiny, dweeby guy with no muscle whatsoever, and has a few friends….who're Puffers, which means he's basically a loner, 'cos everyone knows Puffers don't count. He smiles timidly at us. Sometimes when he smiles he reminds me of Emma, but Emma's pretty and cool….and Josh is not.

Yes, I know I'm a bastard. I'm told that on a daily basis.

"Hey Scorpius," Levitt says.

Scor sighs. We all know what Levitt's going to ask, and we all know what the answer is going to be.

Nevertheless, I see Josh stop sorting out his sock collection to listen.

"Going out with Ria yet?"

I see a glint in Scor's eyes. "Yeah man, got together over the summer. The sex was great and now she's pregnant. Baby's due next year. Don't tell anyone, yeah?"

Levitt's gaping. Poor dude, he's not the brightest.

After a few minutes of silence, Scor finally takes pity on the guy. "Aaron, I was kidding. You know I'd never date Ria. I tell you this every year. She's my best friend and that's it."

"So you are related?" Levitt's recovered and is grinning again.

"For God's sake, of course we're related. All purebloods are bloody related, but Ria and I are so distantly related we may as well not be. I'm even more closely related to _Al_ than I am to her."

"Damn," Levitt frowns, "I owe Frank 10 sickles."

I think back to first year, when, like him and everyone else in our year, I was confused about Scor and Ria's relationship.

First you think they're dating because they're so close and they do couple things like holding hands and sitting in each other's laps, but they never kiss.

Then you assume they're best friends, but they practically live together and they share the same birthday.

Then you're sure they're twins but they have different surnames and different parents.

So I finally asked.

After the War and their marriage, Scor's parents moved out of Malfoy Manor and into a quiet town in Kent to escape all the media attention. Ria's parents had just moved to England from America, and purely by coincidence, they bought the house right next door to the Malfoys.

The two couples hit it off immediately as they all work in the Quidditch industry. Mrs Black works as a physiotherapist for the Wimbourne Wasps, while Mr Black is an assistant Quidditch coach, and Mrs Malfoy styles Quidditch players, while Mr Malfoy controls the press for the Chudley Cannons. Scor was actually meant to be born in January, but he was late (like always), so he was born in February, on the same day as Ria. Their parents were great and all for about three years, but then Mr Malfoy kinda freaked that if he spent too much time around his son he would have a bad influence like his dad had on him, so he spent more time with the Chudley Cannons and less with Scor. Mrs Malfoy and the Blacks did the same thing, which meant that when they were growing up, Scor and Ria really only had each other (plus a few live-in babysitters), which is why they're so close.

Rose is so jealous of how much freedom those two get, whereas I personally think that the Malfoys and the Blacks are shit parents, but the only time I dared mention this to Scor and Ria, Ria got pretty offended and told me to shut my mouth. They actually get on really well with their parents even though they only see them at Christmas.

I snort and get into my pyjamas, which for me are my birthday suit plus some boxers, then swagger out of the dorm and down the stairs.

The common room goes silent when I enter, and I grin when I see guys scowling at me and girls swooning at my beautifully defined six-pack. I wink at them saucily, and a few girls faint.

Scor bounds down the boys' stairs and up the girls' stairs in his Quidditch jersey and pyjama bottoms. Lysander follows him up at a slower pace in similar pyjama bottoms and a wifebeater.

Fuck them. Ria somehow charmed the girls' stairs for the entire time we are at Hogwarts to let Scor up ('because he's a gentleman Al, unlike you') and Lysander up ('because he's gay. Duh.') So I'm stuck at the bottom with my fangirls. Shit. My fangirls.

"EMMA!" I yell up the stairs. Rose and Ria would laugh at me and I say I got myself into this mess.

"EMMA LOUISE LONGBOTTOM!" Out of the corner of my eye I see some girls standing up.

Emma appears at the top of the stairs in a cute nightdress. Honey blonde hair cut in a bob, sweet face, innocent rosy complexion, and petite with curves in all the right places, she'd make any guy happy, but guys don't notice her because she's so quiet and overshadowed by her loud best friends. Which means she's had two dates in the 5 years she's been at Hogwarts, partly because we're so damn protective over her. Let me tell you now, _no one_ is going to be good enough for Emma Longbottom.

The girls are now walking towards me.

I look up at Emma desperately.

"I, Emma Longbottom, give you, Albus Potter, permission to come up the girls' staircase."

And I scramble up the stairs just as the first girl reaches out to touch me.

"THE MAN IS HERE." I slam open the door to the sixth year girls' dorm.

Coming up to the girls' room after the Welcome Feast is a tradition we've had since second year. Their room is so much better than ours, partly because it's cleaner, more spacious, and smells like perfume, but mostly because there's no stupid-arse dorm mates to interrupt us.

That's right; there are only three girls in Gryffindor Sixth Year. I hardly remember the other two who were here in first year.

There was a chubby one with ash-blonde hair who insulted Ria and had her diary duplicated and sent to every student. Embarrassed to hell and back, she left before the first half-term.

The other girl was short, with brown hair and perky tits. She was a bitch to Ria and ended up hanging upside down outside the Astronomy Tower. McGonagall was unable to find the culprit, and the girl was sent away for her own safety.

Moral of the story: don't cross Ria Black.

I slouch down onto the ground and Rose throws a pillow at me. "Cover up, you whore."

I snort. "You can talk, slut." She is wearing a vest top that is way too small for her and shows off her pierced navel (Uncle Ron would kill her if he found out about that), and shorts that don't even cover her arse. Trust me; I am long past caring what my cousin wears.

She gives me the finger and turns to the others who are sitting in a messed-up circle on the floor. "Where's the firewhiskey?"

Ria goes to open her trunk but Emma pulls her back down. "Bad idea to get Rose drunk on the first night back."

"I just wanted a sip." My cousin whines.

"Exactly." Scor rolls his eyes.

"What are you trying to say?" She's getting heated up now.

"That you're a lightweight." He's not scared of her.

"NO I'M NOT." Come to think of it, who is scared of Rose?

"Sure you're not." Lysander says.

She grins at him. Poor naïve Rosie. "Thank God you're on my side, Sander."

"Dude," I shake my head, "You really need a sarcasm sign so people like Rosie know what you're on about."

Ria pulls something out of her trunk, placing it in Lysander's lap.

. . .

"You didn't."

"Yes I did." She's full on smirking now.

Lysander holds it up for us to see.

"You know most people would write sarcasm on a piece of paper," he says, "But no. You buy a polished iron plaque and have 'sarcasm' engraved onto it in big black letters."

Oh Godric.

Ria just shrugs. "When you've got all the money in the world, why not spend it?"

Scor narrow his eyes at us. "You know -"

"Yes," I cut him off. Scor and Ria give us this lecture at least once a month. "If anyone finds out they'll kill you, blah blah blah."

Scor opens his mouth to say something else but Emma cuts him off. "You know we'd never tell anyone." She says softly.

"Probably because you made us take a fucking Unbreakable Vow." I growl.

"Precautions are always necessary." Ria grins at me. I smile back before I know what I'm doing.

But she's right. Precautions are necessary when you've got as much money as them. All the old pureblood families used to have the spell on the money in their Gringotts vaults. But some of the families died out, some lost the keys to their vaults, some forgot the spell, and some even removed the spell when it became illegal. This means that only the Malfoys and the Blacks still have the old infinity spell on their money. The infinity spell (whose incantation only those two families now know) makes it so that whatever money withdrawn from any of the family vaults will never run out. Which basically means that Scor and Ria have an unlimited supply of money.

Yes, I am very jealous, because even though as the fucking son of the Boy-Who-Lived I am filthy rich, I still have to be conscious of what I spend my Galleons on, whereas Scor and Ria definitely don't. But they're so frikkin' generous with their dosh. They give millions of pounds to charities on a regular basis. And they buy me a load of cool shit. Friends with benefits are the life.

No, not those kinds of benefits. Though I wouldn't mind it. Especially with Ria.


	4. S & M

'_**Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.' **_**- Rihanna, S & M**

"OH MOTHERFUCKING GRACE IT'S COLD."

"Wakey wakey time, Allie-poo." Rose sticks her tongue out at me. She is still in her pyjamas, but her ginger shoulder-length hair is now shiny and straight instead of the curly mess it usually is.

"Fuck you." I try to grab the duvet but she holds it out of my reach, leaving me with no option but to get up.

So I get up. And clobber Rose with a pillow, messing up her hair that I know she spent more than an hour on this morning.

"ARGH!"

Oh shit. One rule I should have learnt a long time ago: don't piss off Rose Weasley in the morning.

She jumps on me with a war cry and tackles me to the ground.

We roll about the floor, bumping into the mattresses that Scor, Sander and I slept on, which are pretty soft, but then we knock into all three of the girls' beds.

I'm pretty sure I'll have bruises everywhere by tomorrow.

"STOP CLAWING MY FACE YOU DIRTY WENCH."

"THIS IS PAYBACK FOR MESSING UP MY HAIR."

You know how big my biceps are? Pretty damn big. I work out, for God's sake. But I can't get my practically underweight cousin off me.

"YOUR HAIR WAS MESSY IN THE FIRST PLACE." Okay, I lie; her hair wasn't that bad when I woke up. But now it's a total birds' nest. Success.

"YOU EVIL LITTLE CHOBO." Did I mention that my cousin is completely, utterly, off-the-wall bonkers? She may be the brightest witch of her age, but you wouldn't know it from the amount of crazy jackshit that comes out of her mouth.

At this point I'm not fighting back, just trying to stop her damaging my perfect face.

And my hair.

_My hair._

With a furious snarl I manage to throw her off me and back away quickly.

We face each other from across the room like angry predators.

I touch my hair gingerly.

It's all there. Oh thank God. My hair is my saving grace. If my body and face were to somehow go to waste, my hair would save me.

But Rose isn't done trying to kill me. She is fuming. Her hair is puffed around her face like some kind of demented ginger halo, her face is a horrendous tomato red, I can practically see the smoke coming out of her nose…..and she's now got a stiletto in her hand.

Oh this girl plays dirty.

Options flit through my mind.

Charge at her? That's a _stiletto _she's got in her hand. Those hurt like crazy when they're stuffed up the wrong place. Trust me; I've got too much experience courtesy of a couple of crazy exes.

Dive under a bed? There's no way I would fit under there, and even if I could somehow squish myself in, I wouldn't put it past the mental bint to roll under after me.

So, ever the brave Gryffindor, I make a break for the door. Just as I reach for the handle and can practically taste salvation, it opens from the other side. I am about to cry (manly tears, I assure you), but then realise that the door is now effectively shielding me from the stiletto missile that Rose is about to launch at me. I nearly collapse in relief.

Scorpius walks in with Lysander and Emma, neatly dressed in uniform and smiling, with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand.

Did I ever tell you how much I love that boy?

He spots the feral Weasley in the corner and hesitates.

I step forward and give him a shove towards her.

Rather him than me.

He turns and scowls at me, but then takes a deep breath and turns back to Rose, body tense.

Godric, Scorpius Malfoy has a nice arse when he tenses.

Meh, he's got a nice arse all the time.

The guy in question gently wrestles the shoe from Rose's grip, carefully giving her the coffee instead.

We all watch with baited breath as Rose lifts the cup to her lips.

And drinks.

And drinks.

Then she smiles.

And we all sigh in relief.

Oh Merlin, I love you. More specifically, I love Scorpius Malfoy. I pull him into a very relieved (man) hug for saving me from the monster that is Rose Weasley without her daily caffeine fix.

I then rush to the boys' dorm to get into uniform, style my hair, and escape Rose's slightly reduced wrath once she has finished her coffee.

When we meet in the common room at quarter past eight, thankfully Rose seems to have forgotten our earlier 'disagreement.' Emma has styled her hair quickly, no lengthy straightening necessary, so Rose is now admiring her hair in her compact mirror.

As we walk down to the Great Hall for breakfast, I join Ria who was conspicuously absent during this morning's debacle.

"You know I don't wake up unless there's music playing, so I slept through it." She laughs when I ask her where she was.

"How the hell did you do that? Rose was screaming her head off, bloody drama queen."

"Actually, according to her, you attacked her for no reason, messed up her hair on purpose, and then tried to beat her up, yelling about how you're so jealous of her beautiful hair. Scorpius came in and saved her before you pulled out your machete to cut off her locks."

"She better watch out before I actually pull a machete on her. And it won't just be to cut off her hair."

"Oh you like it kinky do you?"

"Babe, get the handcuffs and I'll show you just how kinky I like it."

Ria grins at me as we slide into our seats at the Gryffindor table. "_Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me."_

Scor slides in next to her and leans into our conversation. "S and M, huh?"

"It's never too early for sex." I grab a banana and lick it suggestively, winking at him.

"Albus Potter, if you want to eat that banana I suggest you unpeel it first."

I whirl around to see Professor Longbottom. He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Er…..bananas taste better this way, Professor, didn't you know?"

I am so shit at bullshitting.

Scor and Ria are cracking up behind me; no help whatsoever.

Thankfully Emma saves me. "Do you have our schedules, Professor?"

"Oh yes," our Head of House stops looking at me weirdly and instead smiles at his daughter, "Here you go, Em. Try to control Al, won't you?" He shakes his head as he walks away.

I grin. "Prof Longbottom _so_ wants a piece of me."

"Here." She pushes my schedule at me to stop me perving on her dad.

I scan it quickly.

"Looks like I got everything I applied for." Lysander says. "What about you guys?"

"I really wanted to take Earth Magic, but there wasn't enough demand, so it's not being offered as a subject anymore." Rose is actually upset.

Scor grabs her schedule and looks down it whistling quietly. "Ro, you have _one_ free period. Ri and I have _four_. Why the fuck are you taking so many classes?"

She snatches the paper back, looking affronted. "I don't know what career I want to go into yet. I just want to keep my options open."

"Sweetheart, you'll be great at anything you do."

Rose smiles slightly.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, natural charmer extraordinaire.

Then I actually take in what he said. "Hey! How'd you get four free periods? I only got three, and I actually tried to take as few classes as possible!"

Rose scowls at me. Godric, she has mood swings. It's probably her time of the month.

Ria takes my schedule and compares it to her own.

And then she laughs. And laughs.

And I know what she's laughing at.

"Bitch, Ghoul Studies is all the rage right now."

"_Ghoul Studies?!_" Now Lysander, Scor and Rose are laughing at me too.

I pout. "Em, tell them."

They look at her in shock. "You're taking it too?"

"Yeah," she raises an eyebrow when they dissolve into laughter again, "At least it's more interesting than Arithmancy or Divination."

That shuts up them.

1 point for team Embus.

"I'll have you know that Arithmancy is a well-respected subject." Lysander says in a posh voice, Rose nodding along, "Though I can't say the same for Divination."

"We're taking it 'cos it's easy to ace, so shut your whore mouth." Scor narrows his eyes at him.

Maybe he's on his time of the month too.

"BLACKSTER!" Oh fucking hell, not him again.

Ria beams and springs up. "J-DAWG!"

Then she and my brother run towards each other in slow motion and he pulls her into a hug, twirling her off the ground.

And no, I don't even pretend to understand the weird relationship James and Ria have, but I do remember the first time they met.

After our eventful Sorting and Welcome Feast in first year, we were all following Melinda Brass, the then Gryffindor prefect with perfect legs, up to see our common room for the first time, when Lauren Zyke, a dumb Slytherin in our year, stopped us with a few poorly chosen words.

"Hey, Malfoy. How come you're not in Slytherin? Wasn't your father a Death Eater or something? Heard he massacred a load of people in the War, the evil douchebag."

She may be a bitch, but she gives good head when drunk.

Scorpius tensed and Lysander, ever good at reading emotions, quickly stepped in and held him back. Not that Scor would have hit her. The guy's too bloody charming to ever hit a girl.

But in a whirl of black hair and robes, Zyke was clutching a bloody nose and screaming her head off while Ria proceeded to rearrange her face.

"STOP, STOP, SOMEONE MAKE HER STOP." Zyke's still a coward. She really should have seen it coming.

"YOU CUNT." Yes, even in first year, Ria knew the worst swear words. "DON'T YOU EVER INSULT DRACO MALFOY IN FRONT OF ME."

Back in first year, Lysander was still the tall (slightly smaller then), skinny guy he is now, but Scor, while hot, was also tiny, which is why Lysander managed to hold Scor back from diving into the fray and preventing his best friend from committing murder.

I was just standing back and enjoying a good girl fight (not that Ria fights like a girl. She could even give _me_ a good run for my money in a fight), which is why I was pissed when my do-gooder brother charged in and pulled Ria off Lauren. He held her while Lauren ran away, and somehow managed to calm her down.

And ever since that day, James and Ria have always been close.


	5. No diggity

'_**I like the players.' **_**- Dr Dre, No Diggity**

"_Shawty get down, good Lord, Baby got 'em open all over town."_

"Shut up, Black."

"_Strictly biz she don't play around, Cover much ground, Got game by the pound."_

"Not you too, Malfoy."

"_Gettin' paid is her forte, Each and every day true player way."_

"Goddamn it, it's too early for this shit." I groan.

"Dude, it's the third day back. Get used to it." Lysander rolls his eyes.

"I have a bloody headache. So get them to shut the fuck up."

"_I CAN'T GET HER OUTTA MY MIND, I THINK ABOUT THE GIRL ALL THE TIME." _

I throw my books at them.

"You know you love me, babe." Ria breaks off the song to kiss my cheek. I scowl at her so she winks and dances off with Scor down the corridor to Charms, leaving me to pick up my books.

"You're blushing."

"Shut up Rose. Men don't blush." I growl, and stomp off after Scor and Ria.

"Today we'll be turning vinegar to wine." Flitwick squeaks, and I tune out for the rest of the day.

However, by dinner time I've got a new girlfriend, Sandra Lee, in fifth year Hufflepuff. She's blonde, leggy and stupid, with big boobs. Just my type.

She tucks herself under my arm at the dinner table, and I lean down to kiss her, which turns into a good old-fashioned snog. Hopefully I'll be getting lucky tonight; it's been way too long.

"Ahem." Sander coughs pointedly. "Much as we love seeing you play tonsil hockey, Al, please don't do it when we're trying to eat."

"Dude, it's the third day back. Get used to it." I mock his words from earlier in the day, and then turn back to Sandra to continue sucking face, nearly missing the devious look Scor and Ria share.

But I don't miss it, and I snap my head back up to stare at them.

"Whatever you're going to do, don't." Nothing good has ever come of that look.

However, they just smirk at me, and with a quick flick of their wrists, the entire Great Hall is plunged into darkness.

A whispered _Lumos_ later, and Scor and Ria are holding their lit wands under their chins, lighting their faces up eerily.

"SHIT." Rose is screaming, but other than her, the Hall is silent.

I can feel Sandra shaking under my arm, but she stays silent, clearly trying to impress my crazy friends.

Ria jabs her elbow into Rose's ribs, effectively silencing her except for the occasional moan of pain. Who am I kidding? She won't stop moaning, which Scor takes care of with a quick _Silencio_.

"Sandra Lee," they whisper in unison, in ghostly voices, "We have been possessed by the spirits of Al's girlfriends past to impart some great wisdom unto you."

Shit. I have a feeling I'll be sleeping alone tonight.

Scor starts. "He has a salivary gland disorder that means when he gets overexcited when you kiss, you'll be swimming in spit."

Then Ria. "After a while he gets clingy and will follow you around everywhere. Say goodbye to your friends now."

"He's got genital herpes, so when the time comes, just don't look down."

"His dick is speckled, and kind of crooked, but he's a tad sensitive about it, so try not to laugh."

"He likes to pick his nose, eat his bogeys, and then spit them back into the mouth of whoever he's kissing."

"He's got a disease which makes his tongue like sandpaper, so don't let him go down on you, because you'll be in pain for days afterwards."

"When he sleeps, his ears leak liquid earwax."

"He likes girls to eat his belly button jam during sex."

Light suddenly returns to the Hall, and the screaming from the other students meets my ears as the _Muffliato_ charm breaks. Students are running around, some are crying, there is food splattered on the wall, Josh Thompson is shaking in the corner, and all because of a little bit of long-lasting Peruvian Instant Darkness powder.

Rose, Em and Sander are also shaking, but they have tears of laughter streaming down their faces. I scowl as Sandra quickly stands up, actually taking a few steps back as if she's scared of me.

"I'm sorry, Al, but I don't really think we could work out." I raise my eyebrows. No shit, Sherlock.

"It's not you, it's me." The girl actually thinks I'll be upset by the termination of our 3 hour relationship.

"I just need to focus on my work right now." Merlin, she's pulling out every cliché in the book.

"I think we're just meant to be friends." I literally just met her this morning.

"You're going to make someone really happy someday." She needs to shut up now.

Fortunately, she now runs away to her little friends, probably to tell them about my, quite frankly disgusting, made-up habits.

"Fuck you." I turn back to glare my douchebag friends, who're still in hysterics. "I was going to get it on with her tonight."

"It's not you, it's me." Ria splutters, and then they dissolve into laughter again.

I run through her break-up speech in my head, and yeah, it's pretty damn funny. I crack up with them and five minutes later, we're lying gasping on the benches, winded.

I wish I could say that this isn't a regular occurrence, but unfortunately, every fifth girlfriend I have, Scor and Ria pull something like this to make them break up with me.

And this wasn't even the worst. In the summer of fifth year, they went so far as to invite my mum up to my room while I was mid-orgasm with a girl.

Most. Humiliating. Moment. Of. My. Life.

This prompted my mum to give me The Talk, and I also now have a charm on my room which means I can't sneak any girls up there without an alarm going off in my parents' room, except for my cousins, Emma, and Ria, of course. This has the consequence of me being completely starved of sex every holiday, so I'm pretty damn thirsty when I get back to Hogwarts.

I stand up, wobble a bit as a consequence of lying on a bench for five minutes, carefully run a hand through my gorgeous locks, then swing my bag over my shoulder. "I'm not coming to Astronomy today."

"No, dude," Scor scrambles up to look at me with puppy-dog eyes (shame the poor kid can't pull off puppy-dog eyes to save his life), "You know we all took Astronomy together so we could just hang out and make shapes out of stars. You can't miss it."

"Tough." I snark, "'Cos I'm going to be having sex with some hot chick while you're freezing your arses off up on the Astronomy Tower."

Rose snorts. "Cuz, I can pick up a girl better than you can."

I flip her off and stride out of the Hall, intent on proving her wrong.

I end up going to Astronomy.

Screw my friends.

"_It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday._" Scor sings softly under his breath as he butters his toast.

Something you've probably noticed: Scor and Ria sing. A lot. And I may tell them to shut up a lot of the time, but they're _amazing_ singers. They know all the lyrics to every song that's ever come out since they were born, and even a few before.

It takes dedication to know all these lyrics, which is why you can often find them sitting in the common room with headphones on, staring intently at an iPad.

Yes, you heard me correctly. iPad. Rose tinkered with them in the first term of first year and enabled them to be used and to receive signal in Hogwarts. I'd never say it to her face, but the girl's a genius.

Ria also plays the guitar and piano, while Scor…..well, give him any instrument and in half an hour he can play it like a pro. They're so freakin' talented.

Then there's Em, who can design and make the most gorgeous dresses, Sander, who can read people's minds ("No, Al, for the thousandth time, I'm not a Legilimens; it's all in the body language and facial expressions"), Rose, who may be crazy but she's damn clever, and then there's me.

Sure, I can sweet talk myself into any girl's bed, I have the looks of a Greek God, I'm a frikkin' awesome Seeker, and I can get good marks in most subjects without studying, but there's not really much else I can do except draw. And even that's more of a hobby than a talent anyway.

"Hey, where's Ria?" Scor is looking around.

Ria usually wakes up late, then joins us in the Great Hall ten minutes before classes are due to start. It literally only takes her ten minutes to get ready in the morning, and she doesn't even have to wear makeup to look gorgeous, the lucky bint.

But it's 8:55 and she's not here yet.

Rose shrugs, "I may have knocked over her alarm clock while I was straightening my hair."

"I'll get her." Emma offers, standing up to run to Gryffindor Tower.

"Sit down Miss Longbottom; I am about to tell you something of vital importance to any future career plans you may be considering."

I don't even need to turn around to recognise the snooty drawl of Professor Corona, Head of Slytherin House and our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Unfortunately, she's also teaching Ghoul Studies, which if I had known earlier, I would not have taken the class.

Emma sits down quickly and smiles at Prof Corona, while Scor and I scowl.

Ria's good at DADA but also pretty and popular, everything Corona's not, so she's a bitch to Ria, and therefore we all hate her. Emma and Lysander are smiling at her because they're prefects and it's their job to be nice to teachers, and Rose is smiling at her, because she's a total suck-up to teachers.

"I am not of the opinion that every student in my sixth year Defence Against the Dark Arts class is quite up to the appropriate standard necessary for the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests, so we will be having a test today, in the first 30 minutes of the class. I am here because I thought I would come and give you ample warning." She drawls.

"But, Professor, we're only in this class because we all got at least an E in our OWLs for DADA." Rose is looking horrified at the prospect of a test she hasn't had at least a week to prepare for.

"My apologies Miss Weasley, but I am not prepared to argue with you over who I should accept into my class. If you fail, you will not be taking my class, it is simple as that." And with those foreboding words she sweeps away to warn the Hufflepuffs.

"AMPLE WARNING?!" Rose fumes as she and the others pull out their textbooks and begin poring over them feverishly, "I bet she told the Slytherins about the test on Monday!"

Whatever.

She looks up at me licking Nutella off a butter knife. "Al, I know you ace most stuff without revising, but DADA is one subject you actually need to revise for to pass."

"Aw baby cuz, did you just compliment me?"

"No, I told you to get out your fucking textbook and revise."

"Bitch." I mutter, but I do get out my textbook to revise, because even though she's annoying, she's right.

This is why none of us notice until five minutes later, when we're actually in class.

We sit in our usual arrangement for all the classes that we have together: Rose and Em at the front, with Scor and Ria behind, and Sander and I sitting right behind them.

Scor looks at the empty seat beside him, frowning. "Where's Ria?"

_Oh shit._

Scor turns pale and sprints out the classroom.

Scor and Ria are the same: they can just about scrape an Acceptable in most subjects if they study, with the exception of one subject. Scor's subject is Potions, where he is top of the class, with Lucien Black coming in at a close second. However, Ria is far and away the best at DADA, so if she can get here in time, she can definitely ace the test without revising.

There's a commotion at the door, where Professor Corona is pushing Scor back into the classroom.

"But Professor, I need to get Ria." He pleads with her.

"It is the fault of Miss Black alone if she is not here to complete the test." Corona's eyes are lit with petty triumph at the chance to get rid of her least favourite student.

Scor sighs and slumps back into his seat. "Ria's going to be devastated."

Fifteen minutes into the test and the door crashes open.

We look up to see Ria standing in the doorway, looking _smoking hot_.

She's clearly just woken up. Her skirt is lopsided, with the shirttails hanging out. One of her socks is pulled up to her knee, while the other has fallen down around her ankles. Her hair is loose around her face, her tie is just slung around her neck, and her robes are draped over one shoulder. She's not wearing any shoes, instead carrying them in her hand, with a half-eaten pretzel in her other hand.

Anyone else would look like shit, so how does she look so damn hot?

Ria looks alarmed to see us writing a test and she quickly makes to her seat.

"Just a minute, Miss Black, you are late; you cannot take the test." Corona is clearly pretty upset that Ria has turned up and is desperately trying to salvage the situation.

But Ria's not one to stand for that. "Fuck off, Corona, I'm your best student. I'm doing this test, so deal with it."

With that, she grabs a test, slides into the seat next to Scor, and begins to write furiously, leaving Corona looking so dismayed I'd almost feel sorry for her if she didn't talk like a 19th century butler.

"A seventh year came into our dorm by mistake, with her music blasting out loud." Ria whispers in response to Scor's unspoken question.

"So where the hell did you get the pretzel from?" He hisses.

There's a pause. Ria bites her lip.

"The kitchens."

He turns to her, disbelief evident on his face. "You went to the fucking kitchens to get a fucking pretzel while we were here, fucking panicking that you would have to fucking quit this fucking class."

Just a few too many F-words in there, don't you think?

"I didn't know we were having a bloody test!" At least she has the decency to look ashamed.

Scor rolls his eyes and turns back to his paper.


	6. Another one bites the dust

'_**How long can you stand the heat?'**_** - Queen, Another One Bites The Dust**

The bludger races towards me, narrowly missing my head as my honed reflexes prompt me to duck.

I flip off Ria, who is waving her Beater's bat from the other end of the pitch with Scor.

"OI! AL, STOP PLAYING AROUND!" Of course James only saw me swearing, and somehow missed spotting Ria's attempted murder. My brother may be the school troublemaker (along with Fred, of course), but on the pitch he's got his head in the game.

Even if these are only tryouts.

The sound of singing reaches me from where Ria is clearly thinking along the same lines as me.

"_Just a man and his will to survive."_

She flies over to join me looking for the snitch by the hoops, and throws an arm around my shoulders.

"_It's the eye of the tiger,_

_It's the thrill of the fight, _

_Rising - "_

"RIA! FOCUS!" Ria winks at me, knowing I gain sadistic pleasure from watching my brother get angry.

She looks at him gesticulating from the middle of the pitch, and shrugs.

"_And he's watching us all with the eeeeeye of the tiger."_

He zooms over and I catch myself smiling as I watch her laugh, dodging as he tries to whack her with his clipboard.

We fly back to the ground when James signals that tryouts are finally over. He should know that I have better things to do on a Saturday than this. Or more to the point, _people_ to do.

"Okay, guys." He addresses the mass of hopefuls gathered around to see if they've made their way onto the famed Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

"The team is…."

I zone out, certain I'll be Seeker. As much as I know James would love to kick me off the team, I'm the best Seeker there is, and he knows he needs me, to win the Cup.

A few minutes later and Ria is hugging me. "Al, I'm Beater!"

I roll my eyes. "Ri, you've been a Beater since fourth year. You know James would never kick you off the team."

She shrugs. "Some of the tryouts weren't too bad this year."

Is she kidding me? They were all terrible. Except for Lils' tryout to be Keeper. She was practising all summer for it, and I'm happy she's on the team now.

"I'm glad Frank Jones is the new Beater. He can hit the Bludger damn hard." I follow Ria's gaze to a guy standing a distance away from the others. He's a tall fifth-year and literally _covered_ in muscle. Clearly a Muscler.

Scor wanders over. "Good team this year. I didn't think James could possibly replace Smith, but the new Chaser's quite good."

We all look around to see the new Chaser, a tiny wiry brunette third-year who goes by the name of Katie Sinatra.

I snort. "_She's_ the new Chaser?!"

Scor raises a cool eyebrow. "Kid's got the new Firebolt 400. She may be a third year, but she flies fucking fast."

"No man, that's not why I'm surprised. It's just that the Chasers' surnames are now: Potter, Malfoy, Sinatra."

He just looks at me.

"Get it? PMS?"

I crack up with Ria, and pretty soon we're rolling in the mud, laughing our heads off, while Scor looks at us like we're crazy.

"I do not know you two."

And he walks off to shower, with the rest of the team, leaving us lying on the ground.

Ria looks over to me, laughter still in her eyes. "Here, Al, you've got something on your face."

She reaches over to me, and at the last minute sweeps her fingers into the mud and swipes them across my forehead.

"Oh shit's going down now."

I grab her and start to rub mud in her face.

And now we're rolling in the Quidditch Pitch again, attacking each other with mud and laughing at how goddamn immature we are for sixth years.

I pause after making sure her face is covered in mud, and realise that we have moved so that I am lying on my back, with her straddling me.

Even now, she's grinning at me, her sparkling teeth setting a stark contrast to her mud-smeared face and grass sticking out of her hair. Godric, I love Ria Black.

I grab her around the waist and pull her so that's she's lying on top of me, her breath warming my neck and my arms wrapped around her.

I could stay like this forever.

But after a while she pulls away to stand and offers a hand to help me up.

I reach out to take the hand but she snatches it away and runs away laughing.

I am left on my elbows in the mud, staring after her, liking the warm feeling in my stomach.

Three days later and I am walking into the Great Hall with Emma for lunch, after Ghoul Studies.

Ghoul Studies is so shit.

We're learning about poltergeists at the moment, so we spent an hour stalking Peeves.

A _whole hour_ watching Peeves balance buckets of ink on doors. I have bruises on my arms now because Emma had to keep pinching me to keep me awake.

"Oh Merlin, what're they doing now?" Mother Hen, aka Emma, sighs as she spots Ria and Lysander. They're sitting at the head of Gryffindor table. And by 'the head of the table', I mean they're sitting cross-legged _on_ the table, at the end, amidst goblets of orange pumpkin juice and baskets of freshly made bread, blatantly staring at the other students eating.

What the fuck.

As we near them, I catch their conversation.

"Oh hell yeah."

"Totally agreed, babe. His hair is too beautiful. Hey, what about him?"

"Get your eyesight checked, 'cos that's a hell no."

"But those eyebrows are God-given sexy."

"Eyebrows? Honey, look at his _face_."

"So he has a slight acne problem."

"Forget the acne, he's got a drooling problem."

"But I bet you'd like him to drool over you."

"That's just straight-up disgusting. Ah but look there."

"Oh, _yes, _man. Check out that hot piece of tosh."

"Hot piece of tosh, really?" I seat myself on the bench next to them.

"Like you've never objectified someone." Lysander frowns at me on behalf of Ria, who is still checking out the guy.

"Too right I've never called anyone a _hot piece of tosh_."

"Remember Victor Langford. Or as you named him: 'Dat Ass'."

"Ah, DA. Good times, good times." I reminisce about Dat Ass, remembering the time he accidentally spilt chocolate sauce in his lap, so I -

"Al, stop. You've got your 'I'm thinking about sex' face on."

I glower at Emma and open my mouth to say something extremely insulting, like 'Stop being so bleedin' jealous of me', but fortunately Ria cuts me off, seemingly noticing Emma for the first time.

"Hey, Em, what'd you think of that guy?" She points to a tall dark-haired guy who I know to be the Seeker on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. I scowl. Slytherin may be the House that we Gryffindors hate the most, but the Ravenclaws are our main rivals at Quidditch. And I loathe to say it, but the Ravenclaw Seeker is _good._

"Em….do you _like_ him?" Ria and Lysander are grinning like Cheshire cats at Emma, who is blushing hard.

Aw, she's too cute.

"N-no." She stammers out, but Ria has already jumped off the table and is jogging over to the Ravenclaws.

I roll my eyes. Ria and Rose try way too hard to set Emma up with guys. And then Sander, Scor and I come along and intimidate the guy into breaking up with her. All because we love her.

"Dude, where's Rose? Wasn't she in Ancient Runes with you?" I turn back to Lysander.

"Yes," he nods wearily (my cousin's company tends to do that to people), "but she disappeared with Jake Bloom just before lunch."

Probably off in a broom cupboard somewhere, if you get my drift.

"What about Scor?" I ask.

"I said that Hufflepuff guy was cute, so Scor's gone to find out if he's gay or not." Lysander nods towards the Hufflepuff table, where Scor is chatting to a very pretty boy.

"Didn't know blond and blue-eyed was your type, Scamander." I raise my eyebrows at him, but Lysander is saving from answering by the return of Ria, with the Ravenclaw Seeker.

She sits down next to me, leaving the only available seat next to Emma. The guy sits down and smiles at Em.

Ria sighs dreamily and nudges me. "Don't they just look perfect together?" she whispers to me. Much as I hate to say it, they do make a pretty couple. His chocolate-brown hair complements her honey blonde hair, and he seems super-responsible like her. If he wasn't the enemy Seeker and we were to let Ems get a boyfriend, this guy would be on my list of potential candidates.

"Guys, this is Quentin Townsend. Quentin, this is Al Potter, Lysander Scamander, and last but by no way in hell least, the utterly gorgeous Emma Longbottom."

Subtle, Ria.

"Hey, my homies. Yo, Sander, his name's Jordan and he's – oh, hey Quen'in. What'cha doin' here?" Scor slides in next to Ria.

"Ria invited me over to have lunch here." Quentin smiles at Scor.

Scor catches Ria's gaze, and flash of understanding crosses his face, and he turns back to Quentin. "So, dude, how's your love life going?"

Godric, he's no more subtle than Ria.

"Er, great thanks." For fuck's sake, what kind of a vague answer is that?

Scor's face tightens slightly.

See, the thing that completely fascinates and annoys me in equal measure about Scor and Ria, is their emotions. I've seen Scor and especially Ria furious before, but whenever they're feeling any sort of negative emotion other than anger, be it sadness or disappointment, they kind of close their faces off. So say if Scor's owl died (he denies any affection for the blasted creature, but we all know the truth), he would close himself off to showing any emotion, and instead make his face unreadable. I think it happens automatically for them now, but it's also what makes them such great liars. They can bullshit their way out of anything. You look into their eyes and they give nothing away. its frikkin' unfair, because I'm a bloody open book. Lysander says I show everything I'm feeling in my eyes, which Ria says is one of the reasons why she likes me, but I hate it.

Anyway, off topic.

Scor quickly steers the conversation back to dating. "Hogsmeade weekend coming up soon, right, Quen? Got a date?"

Is he completely off his rocker? The first Hogsmeade weekend is in _October._ It's the third week of _September_.

If I was Quentin, I would have run away from these loons a long time ago.

"No, I don't have a date yet."

Obviously. Who does?

"Aw, Quen, me neither." Ria gives a theatrical sigh. Bitch may be the best liar, but she's a shit actress. "You know who also doesn't have a date? Emma!"

Well you can't get any more obvious than that. Emma is red from blushing now.

But Quentin has clearly not heard Ria's last sentence, because he looks up at Ria eagerly. "Really? You don't have a date? Do you maybe want to go with me then?"

Shit.

Emma stands up sharply and runs out of the Hall.

Dammit, I should have seen that coming. Ria's hot, there's no denying it, and Emma's so pretty, but guys just don't notice her next to Ria and Rose.

Ria gives the oblivious bastard an icy glare. "No. So fuck off."

Scor gives Ria a Look and stays with Sander to talk to a disappointed Quentin (serves him right, the dickhead), but I follow Ria as she races out of the Hall and along the many corridors and stairs to Gryffindor Tower.


	7. What it's like to be me

'_**Baby you don't know what it's like to be me.' **_**- Britney Spears, What It's Like To Be Me**

_Ria's POV_

Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Did I not give him enough hints?

Did I do something wrong to make him think that it was _me_ that was interested in him?

So maybe I shouldn't have sworn at him. That was a bit harsh. But goddammit, he's a Ravenclaw; he was supposed to pick up on our fucking hints and ask Emma out. They would've been so great together.

But no. He asks _me_.

I could hit myself. I must've done something wrong; given him some sort of 'come get me' signal by accident. Maybe I leaned too far forward or something in my eagerness to get Em a nice date, while Emma just sat next to him quietly.

But why me? Emma is fucking gorgeous, why didn't he just turn to _her_, and ASK HER OUT?

_Em's going to be devastated._

"FORGET-ME-NOTS!" I yell at the Fat Lady, and she swings open after giving me a glare. Well, I just lost one of my many painting friends. I nearly stay behind to apologise but force myself to scramble through the portrait hole. _Emma's more important; she's your best friend, so focus, Ria._

I turn to Al who is panting after chasing me here to talk to Emma. "Wait here a sec, yeah? Girl talk first."

He nods in understanding, and I pause for a second. So many reasons why I love this boy, but one of the main ones is that even though he's horrible to everyone else, he really does care about his friends.

With this thought in mind, I smile at him fleetingly then run up the stairs to our dorm. I stand outside the dorm for a moment and praise James. In third year, after running all this way I would have collapsed against the wall, but now, after all the laps of the Quidditch pitch James has made me do ('YOU NEED STAMINA TO BE A BEATER SO STOP COMPLAINING AND DO TEN MORE LAPS' (so many reasons why I love _that_ man, but his attitude on the Quidditch pitch is most definitely _not_ one of them)), I only need a minute to get my breath back before pushing open the door.

"Oh, Em, sweetie." I sink onto the bed beside Em and pull her into a hug, drying her tears with my sleeve.

She stiffens slightly, but then relaxes slowly and sobs into my shoulder as I hold her and shout at myself inside my head for being so fucking stupid.

When I think the crying has stopped, I gently push her away from me. "Hun, I'm so _so_ sorry."

She just shakes her head.

"Talk to me, babe."

She wipes her eyes. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

"Sweetie, I love you, and it's obvious to me that you're _not_ fine. I want to help you, so talk to me."

There's a long pause where she fiddles with the cushions.

"There's nothing really to say."

"I'll get some Haagen-Dazs, yeah?" Ice-cream solves everything, especially with Rosie. She falls in love so easily with every guy she sleeps with, and Ems and I have to be ready with the Haagen-Dazs (Rose has a weird hatred of Ben and Jerry's) and the Leo DiCaprio movie (she's got a massive crush on the dude) for when they break her heart.

"No, thanks." Right, refusing ice-cream and refusing to talk to me means that something's seriously wrong. _Good going, Black._

Then realisation strikes me hard and I've got to say it fucking hurts. She doesn't want me here, as I'm the one who got asked out by her crush.

Ouch.

_Pull yourself together and stop feeling sorry for yourself, Ria. Emma's upset and she doesn't want you, so find someone else who'll help her._

Al.

_Al's POV_

I look up as Ria comes down the steps slowly, her face unreadable.

I stand up from where I am sprawled on the sofa in front of the fire, and approach her cautiously.

"How's Ems?"

"She wants to talk to you."

Cue panic attack. "What? Why? What have I done?" I start pacing.

"No. She's upset, so go talk to her. Comfort her and all that jazz."

What?

"God no, I'm a macho man, I'm not built to do stuff like that. Ria, I can't."

In two long strides she's in front of me and pulling me into a hug. She buries her head in my shoulder, and as I breathe in the scent of raspberries, I relax.

I pull back slowly and she pushes me towards the stairs. "I, Ria Black, give you, Albus Potter, permission to go up the girls' staircase."

I take a deep breath and ascend the stairs before my nerve can fail me. I may be a Gryffindor, but crying girls scare me.

I throw open the sixth year girls' door and curse under my breath when I see Emma.

I slouch onto the bed next to her and throw an arm around her. "Longbottom, spill."

I told you I was shit with wailing chicks.

"Ri, Em's got something to tell you." I push Emma forward slightly, towards Ria, who is standing in front of the common room fire, expression unreadable.

Emma takes a step forward and looks back at me. I nod encouragingly.

Who am I kidding? I'm not really encouraging, but I know she's got to tell at least Ria, if not Rose too, what she told me.

Emma sinks onto the floor and looks at Ria to do the same, but Ria just stands there, expression hard.

Come on, Black, show a little sympathy and _sit the fuck down._

Eventually Emma stands up again and words come pouring out. "Look, Ria, you and Rose are so pretty with your long legs and flirty words, and I'm just not. I'm short and blonde and plump. Guys have never noticed me next to you, and I'm jealous. I liked Quentin, and he chose you over me, and I hate that. I want to be like you but I just don't know how. I – I should go." She peters out, and turns and brushes past me to go back to her dorm but I hold her still.

"Quentin was an idiot." is all Ria says.

"No!" Today's officially the first time I've seen Emma annoyed. "Look at Rose, she's so perfect. Daughter of two of the Golden Trio, perfect figure and perfect hair and perfect lips that she just has to pout to get all the boys. And you; a gorgeous, tanned billionaire with hundreds of friends. You two are perfect; you both have everything and it's so unfair!

There's a long silence. Emma is breathing heavily after her rant and I am frozen, watching Ria for her reaction.

Ria's jaw tenses and I watch as her eyes turn cold and hard. "I would give anything to have a family and a past like yours. So _never say that again_."

The portrait hole slams shut as she storms out.

I only have time to take a breath before the portrait hole opens again.

"Hey Al, what happened? Ria just stomped past us and – Ems, munchkin, what's wrong?" Rose flings herself on Emma who is now crying again.

Slow clap for my comforting skills.

"I – I told Ria I was jealous of you and her, and she stormed out." Emma manages to gasp in between her sobs.

Rose slaps her.

"Sweet Merlin, Rose, get off her." Lysander, who has come in with Rose, pulls Emma away.

"For Hecate's sake, Emma," Rose groans, grabbing Emma again and shaking her roughly, "I've seen boys jizz in their pants over you, so what are you talking about?"

This is why we don't let my cousin comfort people.

Lysander pushes Rose away and turns to me. "Dude, what happened?"

I shrug and slump into an armchair in front of the fire. "Fucked if I know, man."

Lysander rolls his eyes and sits on the sofa, with Emma next to him, while Rose carefully arranges herself on the floor so that her skirt is as short as possible.

And we wait.

And wait.

Half an hour later, when I have given up and am just about to go find a willing girl who's skipping lessons like us, the portrait hole slams open again, and Scor and Ria walk in.

Ria stops in front of Emma and holds out a roll of sky-blue dress material as an olive branch.

We all watch cautiously as Emma takes the roll and stands up, allowing Ria to pull her into a hug.

"Em, I'm so sorry I yelled at you. I was out of order."

Emma sniffs and smiles. We breathe a sigh of relief. I may be a selfish dickhead, but I hate seeing Emma Longbottom unhappy.

"It's okay."

"But I meant what I said," Ria holds her away sharply, "Don't wish you were me, yeah?"

Emma nods and Ria smiles at her. Scor slides his arms around Ria's waist and rests his chin on her shoulder, grinning at us. "Well, since we're all besties again and clearly not going to lessons today, what say we make a trip to Hogsmeade?"

Godric, yes, exactly what I need after all this girl drama.

"No."

Bloody spoilsport.

"But Sander, come on." Rose moans. She crawls over to Lysander and pouts, making sure that he can see down her shirt.

It's like she doesn't know he's gay.

I sigh loudly and stand up. "We'll go to Tomes and Scrolls."

I can practically _see_ Lysander's ears perk up. "Then let's go!" And he strolls out of the common room.

"Al, did you have to?" Scor whines.

I shrug. "Sacrifices had to be made, blondie."

Twenty minutes later and we are in Hogsmeade, watching Lysander pretend not to be excited as he browses the shelves of his favourite shop.

Tomes and Scrolls is a tiny shop, absolutely bursting with ancient, dusty books, and no seats for five very bored seventeen year olds.

"What say we sneak off to the Hog's Head and replenish my store of firewhiskey?" I nudge Scor.

"You're the one who suggested we come to this shitty shop, mate."

"Yeah, but if I hadn't acted on that stroke of genius, Sander wouldn't have let us come to Hogsmeade, like the little goody two-shoes prefect he is."

"But we're here to cheer Emma up, not look at motherfucking books."

"Preach it." Ria leans her head on my shoulder.

"You'll come with me to the Hog's Head, won't you, Black?"

"Al, honey, you're too obsessed with that place."

"Yeah, 'cos I love the way the windows are so dirty you can't see out." I can _feel_ the sarcasm dripping off my words.

"No, you love the way there's hardly anybody in there, and the few dodgy guys that are there don't talk."

"Fuck you." I growl. Bitch called my bluff.

Fine, I admit I love that pub. Godric, it's just so peaceful, compared to places like The Three Broomsticks where people decide to let out their inner banshees and scream the roof down.

"I'll take care of this." Scor smirks at us and reaches into his pocket.

Five minutes later and we are shuffling through the autumn leaves in Hogsmeade again.

"Dude, I really am sorry." Somehow, Scor doesn't sound sincere. It may be due to the fact that he's doubled over from laughing so hard.

Lysander ignores him.

"Come on, man. You've got to admit it was funny." Scor tries again.

Lysander whirls around, furious. "What, funny that you set off a Decoy Detonator and nearly set the whole shop on fire, causing the owner to kick us out and give us a lifetime ban from entering Tomes and Scrolls?"

"Yeah." Scor bursts out laughing again. Lysander scowls at him, and then stomps off.

"We're going back to Hogwarts." He calls over his shoulder.

We all groan.

"This is all your fault!" Rose yells at Scor, shoving him into a shop window.

"I had to get us out of that stupid shop somehow." He mutters, rubbing his shoulder.

Ria loops an arm through Emma's and whispers into her ear. Emma nods and skips off to walk with Lysander. She says something to him and I see him stop, then nod slowly and turn back to walk into Honeydukes, looking guilty.

Emma smiles at us, and skips in after him.

We all whoop and follow them in.

"What did you say to her?" I whisper to Ria.

"Told her to guilt trip him. Works every time; we've all got a soft spot for Ems." She winks at me and disappears behind the Cockroach Clusters.

"Mr Potter?"

Well shit. First time I bunk off school to go to Hogsmeade this year, and I get caught by a professor. I turn back to see who will be giving me detention.

"Hey, Lila." Scor casually strolls up and hugs Professor Penny, our twenty-something Muggle Studies professor who also teaches me Muggle Art, and teaches Scor and Ria Muggle Music.

"Lila!" Ria appears and also gives her a hug. Godric, I wish I could be on first name terms with this pretty lady.

Penny smiles, but then frowns when she realises she should be telling us off. "Mr Potter, you should have been in my lesson last period. So what are you three doing here?"

I see Rose's ginger hair in the corner of my eye but it swiftly vanishes when she spots Penny.

"I was feeling a bit peckish. Care to join me in The Three Broomsticks?" I hold out an arm for her to take.

"Excuse me?!" Her eyes widen.

Scor swiftly steps in front of me as Ria takes Penny's arm.

"What he means to say is –" she shoots me a glare, "I'm PMSing and I really needed some sugar, and I was afraid the house elves would snitch on me to McGonagall if I went to the kitchens, so Al and Scor offered to come to Hogsmeade and buy me some chocolate. You know the feeling, don't you Lila?" Ria pulls a pained look.

The sad thing is, with three girls as best friends, a sister, and too many girl cousins, I've become used to this kind of talk. However, the thing that really freaks me out is that Scor is nodding along sympathetically to what Ria is saying.

If he has periods, it would explain a lot.

"Oh Ria, of course. In fact, I would recommend buying a hot water bottle from Zonko's, because I can tell you from experience it really does wonders for cramps."

Seriously? She actually believed that bullshit?

"That's great, we'll go there right now! Thanks so much, Lila."

"No problem." She opens the door to go, but then turns back at the last minute. "I should give you three detentions, but I'll let you off this time as long as you don't do it again, okay?"

"You're the best, Prof Penny." Scor grins at her, and the bell above the door jingles as she leaves.


	8. Ruby

'_**Let it never be said the romance is dead.' **_**- Kaiser Chiefs, Ruby**

"I'm in love." Rose says dreamily as she sits opposite me in the library on Saturday (Emma forced me into this wretched place of learning).

That took longer than usual. A month of school has already gone by without this happening.

Emma and Lysander share a knowing look, but I just roll my eyes and carry on reading my RPM cars magazine behind my Transfiguration textbook (it took a lot of research and bribes with Scor's money and references to my dad killing Voldemort to get my RPM magazine subscription delivered to Hogwarts, so I'm not risking Master Pince the weird librarian confiscating it). "No you're not."

Rose grasps my hands and stares into my eyes. Did I ever mention that my cousin has the craziest eyes I've seen? "Jake is the One, Al."

I snort and pick up my magazine, which Rose knocked onto the floor. "Jake Bloom? Really? He's a twat."

Rose snarls and raises her hand to slap me, but gets distracted by the sight of my magazine. She squints at it for a moment before pulling out her reading glasses. "Seriously, Al? Give up on the cars, already! Aunt Gin-Gin's never going to buy you one."

I snatch the magazine away from her. "I know. I even learned to drive, and passed my fucking driving test without Confounding the examiner! I dropped her so many hints last year for my seventeenth birthday, but she just got me a stupid watch. She never fucking listens to me. It's always 'James this' and 'Lily that'. And dad's too busy trying to save the world again to care." I say bitterly.

Rose shrugs. Insensitive bint. "No one cares about your daddy problems, cuz. Get over it. There are more important things to talk about. Like my love for Jake."

Scor and Ria slide in next to Rose.

"Was 'sup my bitches?" Scor grins.

"Jake Bloom. Up Rose's vagina." I answer tetchily.

Ria shoots me a Look and laces her hand through Scor's. "That's nothing new, right?"

"I'm in love with him." Rose lays her head on Ria's shoulder contentedly.

"Honey, you know it never works out." Emma replies gently.

Say it like it is, babe.

"Look," I'm tired of this shit. "When did you sleep with him?"

Rose falls in love with every guy she sleeps with.

"Yesterday." Rose sighs happily. "It was the best night of my life."

She says this at least once a month, for a new guy every time.

"Then tell him you love him." I say.

I know exactly what will happen.

Emma opens her mouth to contradict my amazing advice, but is cut off by the arrival of twat-of-the-hour, Jake Bloom.

Speak of the devil.

"Jakey, sweetheart!" Rose flings herself at him.

Scor mimes retching and leaves, pulling Ria with him. _That's_ new. He should be used to Rose's disgusting PDA by now.

"Rose has something to tell you." This is such good entertainment.

"I love you, my darling." Rose says eagerly. Well, she certainly doesn't beat around the bush.

I watch Jake lazily. I've been in his position so many times. He looks shocked, and gapes at her for a minute.

"Rose, I think we should break up." Then he runs out of the library as fast as his skinny legs can carry him.

See, _that_ was his mistake. If a chick says she loves you, just say you love her back so that the sex keeps coming, until you find a better girl to snog.

But Bloom's still got that horrible little thing they call a 'conscience'. I got rid of that annoying bitch ages ago.

Yes, I know I should have been Sorted into Slytherin.

But speaking of break-ups, I need to get rid of my girlfriend, Ruby. She likes to wear socks and a scarf during sex, which I find a total turn-off.

She'll be in the Gryffindor common room now, knitting a new sex scarf. I get up to go and find her, leaving Rose blubbering in Emma's arms, wailing about Bloom (and about to be kicked out of the library).

I find Ruby in the common room, exactly as I thought I would, and I convince her to take a walk with me.

I was considering breaking up with her in the common room, but even for me that's a bit heartless.

As she blabbers on about kinky knitting patterns, we leave the castle and I hear faint singing on the way down to the Black Lake.

"_My life, my life,_

_Makes me wanna run away,_

_But there's no place to go, no place to go."_

Ruby stops babbling as she hears the singing, and I quicken my pace to see Ria leaning against the tree at the edge of the lake, wearing a green Quidditch jersey and genie pants, strumming a guitar and watching Scor, who is standing at the edge of the Lake, looking out over it and singing melancholically.

"Scor? Ri?" I call quietly.

Scor stops singing at the sound of my voice, and they turn around.

We stand for a moment, staring at each other, and it feels like I have intruded on a very private moment.

"Erm, guys, this is Ruby." I pull Ruby forward to stand next to me.

In an instant the tension is gone as Scor and Ria share a look, grinning deviously.

Shit.

"_RUBY, RUBY, RUBY, RUBY._"

_Argh_. I spin a quick _Silencio_ at them and wait until they realise they aren't making any sound, and stop singing before I take the spell off.

"Sorry about that, man," Scor comes forward and claps my shoulder, "Couldn't help it."

Ruby is looking faintly scared. Can't really blame her. If two loons sang _my_ name as loud as they could, I would run away before you could say 'crazy'.

"We'll leave you to it, hun," Ria winks at me, "See you later, Rubes."

Then she walks off, strumming her guitar, with Scor trailing after her, still singing.

I roll my eyes and tune out the noise.

"Ruby, we need to talk."

Her blue eyes fill with tears.

LOL.

"Are – are - you – you –"

"I'm breaking up with you." I say impatiently. Godric, by the time she got her question out, I'd be graduating and leaving her anyway.

"BUT AL, YOU CAN'T!" she wails.

Urgh.

"On the contrary, I think you'll find I _can. _And sweetheart, I just did. Sayonara, sucker."

Okay, maybe that last sentence wasn't totally necessary. But it sounded cool.

I leave her to her unattractive howling and head back inside.

Hey, I never said I was a nice guy.

I find a willing girl to give me permission to go up the Gryffindor girls' staircase, where I find Rose, Ems, Ria, Scor and Sander in the sixth year girls' dorm.

Rose is still crying, sprawled on her bed, with Emma stroking her hair soothingly and Ria patting her hand ever so often. Lysander is sitting on the bed opposite, giving Rose advice on how to get back on her feet, and Scor is hanging over the remaining bed, playing with the red duvet and singing softly about breakups.

They all look up when I enter, except for Rose, who carries on wailing like a banshee.

"Al, we're going to the Room of Requirement. Fancy coming along?" Ria asks me.

After one of Rose's breakups, the girls always go to the Room of Requirement, which appears to them as a cosy living room with comfy sofas, soft rugs, three beds, and best of all: a massive flat-screen TV, where they watch a Leo DiCaprio movie and eat ice cream.

"What're you watching?" I ask. Last time, they watched The Titanic, which ended up making all three of the girls cry, while Scor, Sander and I quickly snuck back out of the Room. Not an experience I wish to repeat.

"The Wolf of Wall Street." Ria smirks at me.

Fuck yes.

Scor sits up eagerly and Lysander grins.

"I'll be there." I smile at her.

Three and a half hours later, and we are sprawled on the soft carpet of the Room of Requirement floor, eating ice-cream and passing around a bottle of firewhiskey.

"Never have I ever….snogged Mrs Norris." Rose raises the bottle drunkenly, grimacing at me in what was supposed to be a smirk.

I scowl at her and grab the bottle, taking a swig. "It was an accident!"

"So you say." Rose sticks her tongue out at me.

"I'm not the one who kissed a fish!"

"You krombit, I was nine! I thought it would turn into a prince!"

"Pretty sure that in the story it's a frog that turns into a prince." Lysander frowns. He's not drunk at all, having sipped only water since we've been here.

I would force some alcohol into him, but he's even more of a lightweight than Rose. The one time he had a glass of firewhiskey and got drunk, he ended up lying on the staff table at breakfast the next day in the Great Hall, half naked and muttering about cheese.

Needless to say, he's never had alcohol since.

"Details, details." Rose waves away Lysander's remark and pouts. "Dad told me it was a fish."

Emma takes the bottle and gulps half of it down. I grimace at her. The lucky bitch never gets drunk, no matter how much she drinks. I am very jealous. She raises the bottle, "Never have I ever….. had sex."

Scor, Ria, Rose and I all take a sip of the bottle.

"Honey, we need to get you some action." Ria pats Emma on the head.

"I'm always up for it." I wink at Emma and try to also pat her on the head, but miss and end up lying on the floor. Yes, I've had a lot to drink.

The floor is quite comfortable actually. I curl up and stroke it absentmindedly.

"You know what? Al looks effin' cute like that." I hear a voice above me and the click of a camera.

I ignore them and kiss the floor.

I hear drunken laughter and two people grab my hands, dragging me along the floor.

They stop and then I am flying up and smacking into the padded ceiling of the Room.

I flip my middle finger at whoever is brandishing their wand below me, and then I am falling into a soft bed.

I sigh in contentment and stretch on top of the duvet, feeling as someone gets in next to me.

I go to kiss them, but feel them push me away. "Shove off Al, you're not getting any action tonight."

Oh. Lysander. Well, his loss.

But now the compulsion to sleep is too much, and I succumb to a dream-filled daze.

"I'M TOO SEXY FOR YOU!" I scream, sitting bolt upright.

I blink and look around to see Emma, Rose and Lysander staring at me from the sofas.

"Dude, chill." Lysander turns back away from me.

I moan at the bright lights in the room (which immediately dim) and Emma wanders over to give me a hangover potion, which I take gratefully and get out of the bed, flicking my wand to straighten my crumpled clothes.

I slouch onto a sofa next to Lysander and accept a cup of steaming tea from him.

"Feeling better?" I poke my cousin, who is sipping a cup of coffee happily.

Before my reputation falls to tatters, I will confirm that I have no interest in Rose's wellbeing, I just don't want her moaning to me in Potions about her broken heart.

"Mmhmm." She nods at me dismissively.

We sit in silence for a while before I realise what (I should say who?) is missing from our group.

"Where're Scor and Ria?"

Rose waves towards the third king-size bed in the Room, which has its drapes pulled around it.

"We should wake them up." Emma stands up and pulls me up too.

I stride over to the bed and pull open the drapes, looking forward to waking Scor up.

See, he's usually the one to wake _me _up by pouring a bucket of cold water on me. Godric, he's the bloody reason I hate mornings. I just want to give him a taste of his own medicine, but I stop in my tracks when I see the bed.

I feel blood rushing down _there_, and whisper the wandless spell _Descendit Erectione_ before anyone notices.

Because, _Godric fucking Gryffindor_ that is hot.

Scor is sitting up in the bed, watching something on his iPad in his lap, with his headphones on. And while a sleep-ruffled Scorpius Malfoy is frikkin' sexy, it's the girl sleeping next to him that's got me turned on.

Ria Black is sprawled on her front, with her arm thrown around Scor's waist. The duvet has fallen down to reveal her green and silver oversized Quidditch jersey with MALFOY printed across the back in elegant cursive, and the jersey has ridden up to reveal just a pair of black booty shorts.

Come on, who wouldn't get hard by looking at _that_ sexy sight?

Scor sticks his tongue out at me and pulls up the duvet to cover his best friend's _perfect_ arse. She shifts a little at the movement and tightens her arm around his waist before relaxing into sleep again.

Rose comes up behind me and pushes me out of the way before stopping like I did at the sight of Scor.

He smiles at her sheepishly and pulls off his headphones, running a hand through his hair quickly.

"I would have gotten up, but I didn't want to wake Ria." He gestures to the sleeping girl. "But seeing as even Al's up, I guess I'll wake her up."

He pulls out his headphones from the iPad, blasting the song out.

Ria's eyes flicker open and she smiles up at Scor before she frowns and sits up.

"'Sup sluts." She grins at us. Lovely start to the day.

"Hey whore." Rose beams and pulls her out of bed. It's a greeting they've been addressing each other with since they were eleven.

I have to turn away from the sight of Ria's long tanned legs, but she quickly pulls on her genie pants which were lying discarded on the floor from yesterday.

Godric, I wish I had enough memories of yesterday night to remember when she stripped off her pants.

But all too soon Lysander and Emma are shepherding us out of the Room of Requirement and down to the Great Hall to have breakfast, because, unfortunately, the one thing the Room doesn't supply is food.

A tragedy, I know. Rose has complained about it enough times.


	9. Love the way you lie

'_**When it comes to love, you're just as blinded.' **_**- Eminem feat Rihanna, Love The Way You Lie**

"Where are you going?"

It's the second week of October and Scor, Ria, Rose, Em and I are standing in a line in the doorway, blocking Lysander's way outside from the Entrance Hall.

"Let me go out."

"Not until you tell us where you're going."

"And hurry up, 'cos Scor, Ria, Al and I have to get to Potions." Rose cuts in.

"I'm just going out for a walk."

"And you go out for a walk for an hour every Wednesday morning?" Ria arches an eyebrow at him disbelievingly.

"Are you stalking me?"

"No, man, we've just been watching you every Wednesday. Intently."

"Scor, that's creepy. Look, I'm late now, so move."

"Aha! Late for what?" Rose looks triumphant.

Lysander just rolls his eyes and moves to step past us but I block his path. "Not so fast, hotshot."

Emma steps forward. "Sander, we're worried about you." She holds his face gently. "Are you doing drugs?"

"WHAT?!" he splutters. And let me tell you, it takes a lot to make Lysander Scamander splutter. "No, I am not taking drugs!"

"Then tell us where you're going!" Scor exclaims.

"Sweet Merlin, you're relentless. I told you already; I'm just going for a walk."

"_I love the way you lie._" Ria adds in.

"Fine!" He looks annoyed at being forced to tell us. "I'm going down to the Quidditch Pitch."

_Why?_ Lysander's not the sporty type, and he only watches Quidditch games to keep Emma and Rose company in the stands.

I say as much.

"Madam Flue says I'm a danger to the health of the Wizarding public every time I get on a broom. So she's giving me flying lessons."

We burst out laughing.

"Stop laughing."

We're in hysterics.

"Hey. Stop."

We're literally rolling on the floor of the Entrance Hall now.

"I will tell Professor McGonagall about the Halloween party."

That shuts us up.

The Halloween party is something the seventh years organise every year. It's held in the Room of Requirement and everyone above fourth year is invited. For most people, it's the highlight of the _year_, let alone the first term. There's booze, loud music, and people getting it on right on the dance floor, so in short, McGonagall doesn't know about it.

"So," I say, changing the subject quickly, dusting myself off as I push myself off the floor and refuse to help Rose up too, "You can't be bad enough for Flue to give you one-to-one lessons in sixth year."

They all give me a Look.

"Mate, do you even remember his first flying lesson in first year?" Scor shakes his head at me, "His broom zoomed straight up above the clouds, he came diving back down soaking wet, then smashed straight through McGonagall's window and ended up hanging from the chandelier in the Great Hall."

I wince. "Maybe flying lessons are for the best, man."

Lysander scowls at me and marches out of the Entrance Hall.

Once he is safely out of sight, we collapse into laughter again.

"Come on, guys." Emma wipes away tears of laughter and casts a _Tempus_ charm, "You're already late for Potions."

Urgh. Potions.

I swing my bag over my shoulder, wave goodbye to Ems who has a free period now (lucky bitch), and then walk down to the dungeons with Scor, Ria and Rose.

Professor Sangrene doesn't even bat an eyelid when we walk in ten minutes late. We make for our usual seats but she stops us and we notice that our usual seats are occupied.

"Some professors complained to McGonagall that I'm not disciplining my students properly."

I snort. That's the understatement of the century. Sangrene doesn't give a fuck what we do. At the start of each lesson she just flicks her wand at the board to write up Potions instructions, reads a magazine behind her desk for the rest of the lesson, and then collects our potions samples at the end. The good thing is that there's no homework. The bad thing is that Rose - as my unwilling potions partner (trust me, it's mutual) - constantly grumbles to me about how she's going to fail her Potions NEWT without adequate teacher support.

Sometimes I just don't understand my cousin. Scratch that, I _never_ understand my cousin.

Sangrene continues, "So to show I care about you or something, I'm assigning your Potions partners for the rest of the school year. A certain professor suggested that I place you with someone you may not want to work with. Who I place you with is non-negotiable, and I know some of you won't be happy." She looks straight at Ria.

"Albus Potter and Rose Weasley." Oh, Godric, really? She hasn't even changed my pairing; she must know that my cousin and I really don't like each other. We slump down on a spare table, determinedly not facing each other.

"Scorpius Malfoy and Lorcan Scamander."

I grin as Scor blows a kiss towards Lorcan and dances to the vacant seat at his side. "Hey Lorcy, baby." Lorcan scowls.

Lorcan is Lysander's twin brother, but he's the complete opposite of good old Sander; Lorcan's in Slytherin, and is moody and snarky.

Actually, now I think about it, he's not that different from Lysander. Jokes, jokes.

"Ria Black and -" She shuffles through her sheets of parchment. This should be interesting. Ria's friends with fucking everyone. In fact, the only person she actively hates is –

"Lucien Black."

Oh _shit._

Ria's eyes darken dangerously and she glowers at Sangrene. "No. Way."

"Sorry, Miss Black, but as I already said; your pairing is non-negotiable."

"Besides," she continues, as she picks up her magazine again, "Mr Black already asked for a swap, and I said no."

Ria stalks over to Lucien and angrily drops into the seat next to him, shuffling as far away from him as possible, as he is also doing to her.

Ria and Lucien Black is a long story that I don't know. She and Scor both hate him because, and I quote, '_I hate my whole extended family because they're fucking pricks. I hate him because he's one of them_.'

Needless to say, he hates her too, though they rarely go all out and make a scene about it. Hopefully that's not about to change, because I know he makes her furious, and when Ria Black's furious, you run.

"Bitch, what are we making?" I poke Rose.

"Read the board, you wanker."

_Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world._

I groan and get up to collect the ingredients.

I'm going to have to check my meals carefully today.

An hour and a half later and I am wiping the sweat off my forehead. Damn, that potion was hard. I glance next to me and freeze.

"Rose. Why are you crying?"

"WE DIDN'T MAKE IT RIGHT!" she wails. I look into our cauldron and realise that our potion is pale pink, which is definitely not correct.

"Hey, at least it looks nice." I shrug, and she wails even louder.

I roll my eyes and wander over to Scor and Lorcan's potion, which has the distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen of true Amortentia, with steam rising from it in fragrant spirals. Lorcan has gone over to talk to Lucien (they're Slytherin best friends. Ew, right?), and Ria and Scor are whispering urgently over the potion.

I catch a few words, "…old books and Chanel…"

I know _exactly_ who smells like that. I grin widely and lean into Scor. "Got a crush on Rose, huh?"

He jumps and turns to glare at me. "Shut the fuck up, Al."

"No need to be embarrassed, mate. Actually, scratch that, if it's my cousin you're in love with, then there's _definitely_ reason to be embarrassed."

A second later and there is a wand at my throat.

"If you tell her …."

Scor is _definitely_ having a monthly visit from Mother Nature.

"Dude, chill, I won't say a thing to her." I wink at him and push his wand away before he kills me accidentally, "I'll get more enjoyment out of watching you try to woo the crazy bint. It's a good old Romeo and Juliet story, except I hope your mum doesn't die at the end, 'cos she's damn hot."

Yes, little known fact about Romeo and Jules (Lysander was obsessed with the play and told me a random fact about it every day for the whole of second year): Romeo's mum dies at the end.

Scor stows his wand away. "Who the fuck are Romeo and Juliet?"

There's no hope for this boy.

Rose sashays up, eyes bright again, flicking her hair over her shoulder smoothly. "Hey, Scor, what do you smell in the potion?"

She pouts 'seductively'.

Godric, I have no idea why he likes her.

Scor looks straight at her. "You." he deadpans.

Okay, he just straight out told her.

There's a shocked pause.

"Lol, ha ha." Rose giggles nervously and shuffles back to our desk, her cheeks stained crimson.

I high-five Scor. "Man, you rock."

He sighs. "But mate, she didn't believe me."

Ria runs a hand through his hair comfortingly. "She thought you were joking, babe. Ask her out later; I know she'll say yes."

Scor nods, happy again and sticks his head into the potion fumes, breathing in contentedly.

"So, Black, what does Amortentia smell like to you?" I turn to Ria, who is staring at the potion weirdly.

"Trust me honey, you don't want to know." She looks at me, her face unreadable, and her eyes flicker for a second before she smiles. "What about you?"

"I am _not_ sniffing that thing."

"Why the hell not?"

"I don't want to know what I love."

"That's deep, Al. Smell it."

"You know, I think I'll just go back to – Argh!" She grabs the front of my robes and pulls me over the potion.

"You fucking – _oh Godric, that smells good_." I inhale deeply as the scent surrounds me.

I smell the fresh grass of the fields around my house, the sweet scent of sex, the lilies perfume that Lily always wears, and then I close my eyes as the perfect aroma of raspberries and sandalwood fills me.

Wait, _raspberries and sandalwood_?

Shit.

I pull back quickly.

"What did you smell?" Ria is looking at me strangely.

Fair enough, I probably looked like I was in heaven whereas now I imagine I look terrified.

"Nothing, nothing." I wave at her spastically and run out of the classroom like a frightened gazelle (maybe a roaring lion instead; I am _much_ more manly than a gazelle) when Sangrene dismisses us, leaving Rose to clean up our cauldron.

I run up to Gryffindor Tower and collapse on my bed, breathing heavily. What does this mean? Can –

"Dude, what's wrong?"

I sit up to see Lysander lying on his bed, looking at me strangely.

For Godric's sake, will people stop looking at me like I'm a mental case? I scowl at him.

He sighs and helps me up. "Come on Al, let's get some lunch."

We walk down to the Great Hall in silence, which I am totally comfortable with.

But then he breaks it in a secluded corridor. "Heard you made Amortentia in Potions today."

"How did you – You know what? Never mind." I shake my head. After seventeen years of knowing the guy, I've become used to the idea that Lysander somehow knows everything. "It smelt like raspberries and sandalwood."

"Ria." He doesn't seem surprised.

"Yeah, man. But I don't – I mean, of course I love her, but not like _that_, you know? And maybe I like her more than usual, but – I just don't know." I run a hand through my hair in frustration.

Lysander puts a cool hand on my back. "Amortentia reminds you of the things that you find most attractive, even if you're unaware of your fondness for the object of your affection itself."

Sounds like he swallowed our frikkin' textbook.

"So, what you're saying is …. I love her; I just don't know it yet?"

"Yes, but don't worry about it, Al." He smiles at me gently.

"Okay." I lift my head determinedly. "I'll ask her out to Hogsmeade."

In one swift movement Lysander has me pinned against the wall, suddenly-intense brown eyes boring into mine. "Don't force yourself to love her because Amortentia makes you think you should; fall in love with her because your heart tells you to."

And with those words of wisdom, he drops me and strides away.


	10. So sick

'_**And I'm so sick of love songs.' **_**- Ne-Yo, So Sick**

"_But I see your true colours shining through, I see your true colours and that's why I love you. So don't be afraid to let them show, your true colours. True colours are beautiful, like a rainbow_." Scor twirls Emma around the corridor, skilfully dodging the mass of students hurrying to lunch. To be honest, even if he crashed into them, I doubt they would mind; he's Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy after all, the people's king.

When he spots me, he spins Emma into Lysander's arms and gallops over to join me.

Yes, he quite literally _gallops_ over, neighing and shaking his ice-blonde hair. He's perfect for Rose.

I quickly arrange my features from an expression of panic into one of cool indifference. I've been thinking about the Amortentia for two weeks, and have therefore been panicking around Ria, and consequently around Scor as well (they're basically the same person). But I pride myself on being an excellent actor (amongst my many other talents); I'm certain they haven't noticed.

"Dude, why've you been acting weird around Ria and I?"

Well, that throws my acting skills into shit.

"What are you talking about? I'm perfectly normal." I giggle.

Godric, I just _giggled_. I may as well die of humiliation now before my manliness is completely shot down.

Scor looks at me weirdly but shrugs and throws an arm around my shoulders, grinning broadly. "Today is the day I ask Rose on a date!" he stage-whispers to me.

"Good for you, man." I say distractedly. Should I ask Ria on a date?

"Wish me luck!" he kisses me on the cheek (that's it. My manliness is officially at an all-time low because of _one_ conversation with my best mate. I need new friends.), and pulls me into the Great Hall to sit at the Gryffindor table with Ems, Sander and Rose.

"Where's Ria?" I look around for the distinctive black and silvery-white hair, as I have been doing all fortnight.

"Just arranging an owl for me. She'll be here soon." Scor is bouncing in his seat with anticipation.

"When are you asking Rose?" I whisper to him.

"You'll see. I just hope Ria beats the owl here."

I roll my eyes. I learned long ago not to ask questions where Scor's involved.

I have just served myself a slice of steaming shepherd's pie, when Ria saunters into the Hall and slides into the seat opposite me, grinning. I inhale sharply. She's wearing her hair in a casual up do, with a little gold bow keeping it from falling in her face, and her eyes sparkling. Godric, she looks perfect.

She catches Scor's eye and an understanding seems to pass between them, as he straightens his tie and stills his bouncing.

The Great Hall suddenly quietens and then breaks out in whispers. I follow everyone's gaze upwards, to where a lone owl is flying in, carrying something neatly wrapped in silver paper, with a sparkling pink ribbon tied around it.

"Hey, Al, isn't that your owl?" Emma remarks.

As the owl comes closer I recognise my sleek black pet, Macho. True to his name, the little guy is carrying the big parcel without complaint, despite his tiny size.

Ria catches my gaze. "Affy was being a bitch so I had to use Macho." she quietly offers in explanation.

I shrug, curious to see what's in the parcel.

Macho carefully drops the parcel in front of Rose, and then collects a potato from my plate before flying off again.

Aw. He's such a good boy, unlike Scor's bitchy owl Affy.

Rose is staring at the beautifully wrapped parcel in front of her in shock. The entire Great Hall is silent, waiting for her to open it.

I throw a potato at her. "Open it, whore."

The potato seems to snap her back to reality, as she gives me the finger, and rips open the paper eagerly.

There's really no point in wrapping a present nicely for my animalistic cousin.

She pushes away the last of the wrapping paper and her eyes widen in shock when she sees what's inside.

I hope it's not flowers, especially not roses. Rose hates roses because she thinks they're too mainstream, considering she's named after them.

Two tiny pink fairies fly out from the carnage of the wrapping paper, holding a small black satin box in between them.

If there's a ring in there, Hugo will murder Scor. To be honest, I couldn't care less if Rose gets married at seventeen, but I would get pissed if my best mate dies at the hands of my geeky sixteen-year old cousin.

They open the box and the girls all gasp when the fairies carry out a necklace. Even I'd say it's pretty. The chain is delicate silver, with a small, diamond encrusted (yes, _diamond_ _encrusted_) snowflake pendant hanging from it.

Good idea, Scor; Rose adores snow.

The fairies carefully fasten the necklace around Rose's neck, before giving her a kiss on each cheek.

Rose's eyes move to Scor when the fairies curtsey to him before flying off.

Scor is eerily calm now compared to the excited mess he was five minutes earlier. He stands up on the table and pulls Rose up next to him, spreading his arms wide.

"Rose Marie Weasley," he says, his voice echoing around the silent Hall, "I've known you and loved you as one of my best friends for six years."

Godric, he _is_ proposing to her.

"But recently, I've begun to notice more about you. Like the way you bite your lip when you're nervous, and try to make everyone around you happy when you're happy. You're the most beautiful girl here, and to me you're more than a friend now. So Rose, will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

That speech was so fucking smooth even _I_ nearly fell in love with him.

Which is why I'm not surprised when she squeals "YES!" and throws her arms around him, amidst cheers and whoops from the other students, kissing him soundly on the mouth.

Ria touches my hand, taking my attention away from my cousin swapping saliva with my best mate on the table.

"Speaking of Hogsmeade, do you wanna go with me?"

My stomach swoops.

Shit.

What do I say? The Great Hall is still talking loudly about Scor and Rose, but I can tell without looking that the two in question are no longer kissing, instead watching me for my answer, along with Lysander and Emma.

"NO!" I blurt out.

Ria is still looking at me, her jaw tense and eyes unreadable. What is she waiting for?

Oh shit, she wants a reason.

"Erm, I'm going with Betsy." I bullshit, pointing to a beach-blonde seventh-year sitting further down the table whom I dated for a while in fourth year. I'll ask her out later.

"Okay." Ria shrugs, expression still unreadable, and turns to talk to Scor who has sat down next her.

"BLACKSTER!"

Godric, why?

Ria beams and stands up to face my brother. "Hey, J-Dawg, 'sup?"

James grins at her, "I need to talk to you." He pulls her away to the Great Hall entrance.

There is an awkward silence. Scor is determinedly ignoring me, Rose is playing happily with her necklace, Emma is slowly pushing food around her plate, and Lysander is watching me carefully.

"What?" I snap finally.

"Why'd you say no?" Lysander asks immediately.

"Look dude, I just –"

"She knows you're bullshitting about Betsy." Scor cuts in frostily. "You're a shit liar, Al, so just say you don't like her that way instead of making up shit."

"But I think I _do_ like her that way." I groan, dropping my head into my hands.

"Then why did you say no?" Emma asks quietly, gently taking my hands away from my face.

"Because _she_ can't ask _me_!" I'm nearly yelling now. "It's the guy that asks the girl out! _I_ have to be the one to ask her to Hogsmeade, not the other way round!"

"Don't be such a misogynist, Al." Rose slaps me. Ouch. I would complain, but I have a feeling I deserved that.

"Look, mate, she's coming back now, just say you panicked a bit, and ask her out, okay?" Lysander advises.

I nod and look up to see Ria making her way back towards us. She slides in next to Scor again, smiling happily.

I open my mouth to apologise, but she cuts me off. "I'm going to Hogsmeade with James!"

Well, shit.

The others all look at me sympathetically, and Lysander quickly asks her why, before I can get up to go and cry in a corner (joking, I wouldn't cry…much; I'm too manly for that.)

"You know how he's been chasing after Amy for ages now but she just insults him every time he does something nice?"

Boy, _do_ we know. The whole _school_ fucking knows how much James is in love with his fellow Gryffindor seventh-year Amy Livingston.

"Well he actually asked her on a date today, instead of just professing his undying love for her as usual."

That's a big step up for my brother. I would sarcastically applaud him, but I'm too pissed off at him for asking Ria out.

"But Amy, the fucking cunt, said no."

I should mention that though Ria is friends with Amy, she's closer to my idiot brother (Godric knows why) so she's on his side in this war of love.

"So he asked me out so he doesn't look like a sad loner on Hogsmeade weekend."

So he basically asked Ria out to save face, not because he's got a huge crush on her. That makes me feel a lot better.

She smiles at me, eyes curious, and I just get up and leave. I hate love stories.

* * *

><p>"Fuck yellow."<p>

"Fuck blue."

"Fuck red."

"FUCK COLOUR!" I scream as I throw my entire palette at the canvas.

"Alboos?"

I look up to see the Art class staring at me.

Sapphire, the Art professor, a transgender hippie goblin, is pushing my art materials away from me quickly.

"Alboos, you paint good picture, but do you vant to talk it out?"

"NO!" I yell at Sapphire. "FUCK THE WORLD!"

And I storm out, swinging my bag to knock over as many people's canvases as possible.

I hear light footsteps running after me and I turn around fuming, to see Emma, looking nervous.

I exhale roughly. "What do you want?"

"Come on." She pulls me gently into an abandoned classroom and sits me in a dusty seat. Then she perches opposite me and waits.

"I'm not going to fucking talk, you know."

"Look," she hangs her head, "I know Lysander's normally the one whom you talk to, but he's in Arithmancy, and you're obviously not okay, so I just thought…" She trails off.

Well shit, I feel guilty now.

I drop my head onto the desk in front of me. "You know what it's about."

"Al, she's not going on a _date_ with James. It's okay."

"THEN WHY IS HE FUCKING TAKING HER TO HOGSMEADE?!"

She pushes her chair back, scared.

Fuck. Being mean to Emma is like being mean to a puppy; it's just not done.

I reach out slowly and take her hand. "Sorry Ems. I'm just so angry with myself. I should've said yes when she asked me, but now she's going out with my idiot brother."

Emma relaxes and clasps my big hand in her small ones, her glittery pink nail polish catching the dusty light. "They're just friends and you know it. It's like me and her going to Hogsmeade together: no romance. The next Hogsmeade trip is in December, ask her then if you want."

"She won't want to go with me anymore after I was such an idiot this morning." I groan.

Emma smiles and stands up, giving me a soft hug. "Ria likes you Al. Who knows why?"

I laugh and push her gently.

"But seriously," she leads me out of the classroom, "I know she likes you a lot, which won't disappear just because you rejected her."

I wince. Rejected is such a harsh word. Although I did scream 'no' at her.

Emma squeezes my hand. "Trust me, she won't say no."


	11. Story of my life

'_**But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds.'**_** - One Direction, Story Of My Life**

I lean on the wall and tap my foot on the stone floor impatiently.

Where is she? Why the hell does it take girls so long to get ready?

Fifteen minutes later, I am still in the same spot in the Entrance Hall, but now sitting on the floor against the wall, looking up girls' skirts as they walk past on their way to Hogsmeade.

Hey, most of them aren't complaining! One cheeky bird scowled at me and her boyfriend flipped me off, but another hitched her skirt up higher to give me a better view. Godric, it's at times like this that I love being Hogwarts's resident playboy.

"Hey, Al." A sugar sweet voice lifts me out of my inner complaint about fit girls wearing loose jeans.

I look up to see Betsy, my date for the day, wearing a flowery bandeau that shows off her tits nicely, a fluorescent mini skirt so bright it hurts my eyes, dangerously high stilettos, and black fishnet stockings. I'm not even going to comment on the stripper heels, but _fishnet stockings._ In bloody October. She could rival Rose for the title of sluttiest in the school, and that's saying something. Scratch that, _no one_ could outdo Rose.

Don't worry, it's not an insult; my crazy cousin takes it as a compliment.

I stand up, flashing my famed charm smile at Betsy, and we walk out of the Entrance Hall together.

Betsy loops her arm through mine and presses her curves into my side, asking me about Quidditch as we stroll down to Hogsmeade. I suddenly remember exactly why I dated her two years ago.

We find a small table in Madam Puddifoots and sip pink tea with delicious pink biscuits as the topic of conversation changes from me to my dad. I suddenly remember exactly why I dumped her two years ago.

I stand up quickly, throwing money onto the table, and guide Betsy out of the pink heaven, eager to change the subject of conversation.

We make for Honeydukes, the place to go when you're bored of your date, and I unwillingly give Betsy my (so frikkin' warm) sheepskin leather jacket when she shivers with cold. Laughter spills out of the Three Broomsticks as we walk past it, and Betsy tries to pull me into the tempting heat of the packed pub. I give in, annoyed but seeking warmth, and we make for the door until I catch sight of the girl I have been trying so hard to avoid today. Ria and James are walking out of the pub, and I smile unconsciously when I see her wearing bright yellow knee-high socks over blue leggings, with a long loose white t-shirt, completely unaffected by the chill Scottish wind (because she can cast a pretty great Warming Charm, something I now regret never bothering to learn).

As I watch her laugh at something James says, something in my stomach drops unpleasantly, and I am about to march over with Betsy and break up their date (yes, it damn well looks like a date to me), when she tugs James to a halt, looking anxiously at something over his shoulder.

I follow her gaze to Hogsmeade Station, outside of which Scor and Rose are standing, arguing loudly.

Shit.

Ria says something to James apologetically, and he nods, pulls her into a hug (the slick bastard), and kisses her on the head, before heading back into the Three Broomsticks.

She runs over to Scor and Rose, with me hot on her heels, leaving Betsy flirting with a horny Hufflepuff outside Honeydukes.

When we skid to a halt a few yards away, I take in Rose's appearance, shocked. She's wearing boots, skinny jeans, a cute blouse, and a cardigan, in a sweet ensemble totally uncharacteristic of my slaggy cousin. Scor looks hot in a denim shirt and cords, rightfully so as I know he spent at least an hour choosing an outfit this morning. The poor dude was so nervous about this date; he wanted everything to be perfect.

But something clearly went wrong, as Rose is yelling at him, red in the face and gesturing wildly.

"ONE HOUR!" she screeches. Godric, girl, turn the bleedin' volume down. "WE SPENT _ONE_ _HOUR_ IN HOGSMEADE STATION, WATCHING TRAINS!"

"WELL YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO!" he screams back.

Ria quickly casts _Muffliato_ around us to deflect the curious onlookers.

"SO YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO SPINTWITCHES?! YOU KNOW I HATE SPORT!"

"BUT I BLOODY _LIKE_ QUIDDITCH!"

"SO? YOU THINK EVERYONE SHOULD PITY YOU BECAUSE YOUR DAD WAS A STUPID DEATH EATER, BUT WAKE UP! IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU, MALFOY!"

That was a low blow, Rose. Even I wouldn't say shit like that to Scor.

His eyes widen, but he recovers quickly and his expression turns hard. "SO YOU'D PREFER IF I TOOK YOU TO PUDDIFOOTS?!"

"NO! I'M NOT AL, I HATE PUDDIFOOTS!"

Woah, what's wrong with Madam Puddifoots? I love the cosy, friendly little pink-obsessed café.

"THEN WHERE SHOULD I HAVE FUCKING TAKEN YOU?!"

"I DON'T KNOW; _YOU_ ASKED _ME_ ON THIS DATE."

"WELL MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE!"

"FINE! IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL, THIS IS OVER, EEJIT!" Rose yells, and storms away, fuming.

Scor watches her go, as the anger visibly leaves him and he suddenly sways on his feet. Ria and I rush over to him, and she hugs him tightly. "Babe, it's okay. Take a deep breath."

He closes his eyes and hangs onto her, steadying himself.

"Mate, what was that? You took her to Spintwitches and the Station?"

"Yeah." He says. "I just panicked. I wanted to take her somewhere special, but I guess I chose the wrong places."

"You can say that again." I roll my eyes.

Ria shoots me a Look and slips Scor's arm over her shoulders, winding her arm around his waist. "Al, if you're not gonna be helpful, get back to your stupid date."

I sigh, realising I may have been a tad rude. "Sorry. What can I do?"

"Get Emma. She's in the Three Broomsticks. Tell her that Rose is upset. I'll get Scor back up to the castle."

And then she turns and leaves, slowly walking with Scor back up to Hogwarts.

Once I've sent Emma out to deal with Rose, I apologise to Betsy for leaving her so abruptly, and we finish our date by buying sweets from Honeydukes and trying on obscene clothes in Gladrags.

We head back up to the castle at half past 6 when the sky turns dark, and I give her a chaste kiss goodbye in the common room. We both knew that we weren't going to date each other again; for me this day was just to make Ria jealous (which didn't work), and for her it was a chance to have some damn sexy arm candy again.

* * *

><p>When I get back up to the dorm, Scor isn't there, but I assume he's with Ria. However, Josh is, carefully draping a blue cape over himself in front of the mirror.<p>

I try to ignore him, but then I notice what he's wearing.

"Why the fuck are you wearing a jumpsuit, Thompson? It makes your twig legs look even skinnier."

Then Aaron walks out of the bathroom in a leather thong.

Godric, I changed my mind. I want some of that fresh meat. Rough love, here I come.

He grins when he notices me looking him over. "Like what you see, Potter?"

"Fuck yes. Care to join me for the evening, Levitt?"

"No can do. I'm going to the party."

Ah, yes. The Halloween party. But it still doesn't explain why he's half-naked. I say as much and he smirks.

"The theme this year is to dress as something you're not. So I'm dressing as a stripper, because, obviously, I'm not a stripper."

"I can change that." I wink and slip my hand in my jeans seductively.

He shakes his head at me amusedly and walks out of the dorm. What a pity.

I turn back to Josh. "I'm guessing you're going as a stripper too, Thompson?"

"N-no." He stutters. "I'm a superhero."

"Well, that's definitely something you're not." I turn away from him and open my wardrobe.

"Wh-what are you going as, Al?"

Is he still here?

"Don't call me Al, Thompson, I'm too cool for you to be on first-name terms with me. And now I'm trying to decide what to wear, so scram."

He nods, scared, and runs out of the room, cape billowing out behind him.

Weirdo.

I scowl at my wardrobe consisting of ripped skinny jeans, faded band t-shirts, leather jackets, and trainers. They all scream _me_.

I slowly turn to contemplate Scor's wardrobe. I walk over and fling it open. Carefully ironed shirts, polo-shirts, chinos, slacks and ties look back at me. Hell to the no.

I then browse through Sander's wardrobe. T-shirts, shirts, jeans, trousers; this is more like it.

"Al. What are you doing?"

I freeze, a cord jacket in my hand and spin around to face Lysander.

"Mate. I…was…checking that Thompson's pygmy puff hadn't eaten your socks."

"Josh's pygmy puff died last week from an overdose of your cologne."

Oh. That may have been why Josh was sobbing all last week.

"Fine." So much for my bullshitting skills. I throw the jacket back into his wardrobe. "For the party we have to dress as something we're not, and I don't know what to wear."

He grins. "Just borrow some of Scor's stuff."

"But it's all collars and shit. I only wear collars when mum forces me to."

Don't laugh; my mum can be really scary when she wants to be.

He rolls his eyes. "Fine mate, but you're not going to be let into the party unless you're in the dress code."

"Fuck. What did Scor wear?"

"He took a pair of your jeans and borrowed his dad's old Quidditch jersey from Ria. He's going as a Slytherin Seeker."

"Oh fuck this shit." I pull out a random pair of chinos, and a shirt from Scor's wardrobe. "I'm going to look like an idiot."

"Hate to disagree with you Al, but you actually look good." Lysander eyes me after I get changed.

I wave him away. "Why aren't you dressed?"

He's just wearing a black shirt and black jeans. "I got lucky. James said I could be the bartender." The git shrugs.

"You douchebag. I'm bloody jealous." I throw a pillow at him.

Lysander laughs, Vanishing the pillow before it hits him, and follows me out of the dorm.

We meet a load of people along the way to the Room, dressed so unlike themselves that I hardly recognise most of them. We are granted entrance to the Room, and Lysander immediately disappears to man the bar, after threatening to kick me out of the party if I spike the punch.

Too bad, mate. My bet is that James or Fred has already poured a bucket-load of alcohol into it.

I look around. Cobwebs, pumpkins and sheets meant to look like ghosts decorate the walls and ceilings. The Room is dark, and full of people, and I can just about make out the mass of students on the dance floor jumping around to the pulsing music.

I spot Emma by the couches at the edge of the party, and make my way over to her.

"Hey babe. You look gorgeous."

And she does. Emma's wearing decent leather shorts and a floaty top, unlike her usual outfit of a cute dress or a pretty skirt and blouse.

She blushes. "I borrowed these from Ria."

"Seriously? I have never seen Ria wear those shorts."

She smiles. "There's so much stuff in her wardrobe that she's never worn. I think she collects clothes for fun."

I laugh. Sounds like the Ria I know.

But then Emma's expression turns serious and she tugs me closer. "I'm worried about Rose. She hasn't drunk a drop of alcohol since we got here."

Knowing my cousin as I do, that's certainly something to be worried about.

I look past Emma to the ginger slouched next to her staring at the floor.

"She's even wearing the same outfit she was earlier." Emma says anxiously.

"No wonder they let her in here." I mock.

Emma pushes me lightly. "Be serious, Al."

I very maturely stick my tongue out at her.

She giggles. "Wait 'till you see Ria. She looks hot, as you would say."

"Speaking of which, where is she?" I look around the party for the Scor's ice-blond hair, as I know there's not a chance in hell of spotting Ria's ebony locks in the dark.

Emma shrugs. "I'm a bit worried about that too. She came into the dorm an hour ago to get changed and then left for the party, but when Rose and I got here, we couldn't see her anywhere. And Scor is nowhere to be seen either. They're usually singing on the bar by now."

I stand up. I'm not in the mood for a rave anyway. "I'll go find them."

"I'll come with you."

I turn in surprise to find my cousin with a firm hand around my wrist, holding my gaze determinedly. "I want to apologise to Scor."

Rose 'I'm-always-right' Weasley _never_ apologises.

I grin at her for what is probably the first time in years. "Come on then, bitch."


End file.
